FMA Drabbles
by crazykitsune17
Summary: Another drabble fic to add to FFN's massive collection. Different pairings, yaoi & het, and some nonpairing ones in each chapter. Please read and review! COMPLETE SEQUEL COMING SOON!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: People of FFN, this is all your fault that I'm doing drabbles. You've gotten me hooked on them. Support a new author and read/review her drabbles? Pretty please? Different pairings (mostly yaoi, some het, though) in each chapter!

**1. Roy x Ed – Laundry**

Edward Elric was outside, snapping dozens of white T-shirts and hanging them out on a clothesline – two sticks shoved into the ground with a length of wire strung between them. Ed transmuted bits of tree bark into clothespins, too lazy to go inside Colonel Mustang's house to go and grab some.

It was a nice day outside, almost too nice as it was rather swelteringly hot. Ed had taken off his cloak and his black shirt, leaving himself in nothing but a tank top and pants. He had taken off his boots to let his toes – both flesh and automail – massage the sticky green grass beneath them.

It was close to lunchtime for the rest of the military, and Riza Hawkeye happened to walk past Ed hanging out laundry that obviously wasn't his (the size of the jeans being hung looked at least four inches longer than Ed's legs). Raising an eyebrow and sipping on a cool lemonade, she walked up to him and questioned, "What are you doing?"

Ed looked at Hawkeye for a moment, a confused sort of look in his aurulent eyes. "Doing… laundry…" he replied awkwardly.

Riza stifled a laugh. "Whose? Roy's?"

Ed put a hand behind his neck. "Actually… yeah." He picked up a pair of Roy's underwear and hung it unblushingly on the line.

Riza couldn't tear her eyes away from the sight of Ed fastening Roy's underwear to a string of wire with clothespins for some reason. Suspiciously, she continued, "Why…?"

Ed didn't blink when he answered, quite truthfully, "Because I love him."


	2. Armstrong x Armstrong Mirror

A/N: Oopsie! I forgot my disclaimer! O.O My original disclaimer for this was in chapter 1, but I hated chapter 1's drabble so I didn't post it here… Ehh… so with no further ado, the disclaimer AND the drabble!

Disclaimer: FullMetal Roy Alchemist does not Roy belong to Roy me. It instead Roy belongs to its Roy almighty Roy owner, Hiromu Roy Arakawa Roy. I Roy love Roy. Please Roy read and Roy review!

**2. Armstrong x Armstrong – Mirror**

He was Alex Luis Armstrong, the Strongarm Alchemist. He was strong. He was tough. He could take out brick buildings and lift over three hundred pounds. He could do so many things… He had been truly gifted by his past ascendants. They were the one responsible for passing down excellent traits and skills through several generations of Armstrongs.

He was Alex Luis Armstrong. And he was in love with himself.

The pink sparkles around his face glittered and smiled, exactly parallel to the massive alchemist's mustachioed grin. His big arms embraced the mirror.

"I will love you like no other," Armstrong murmured softly, tracing his cheek on the mirror's glass pane. "For love is one of the greatest and most honored of abilities passed down the Armstrong line for generations…"

**Reviewer Responses!**

Since you guys are so great and kind to a new author here (not necessarily new to fanfiction, but new on FFN :-P), here are your responses! Thanks for all the reviews!

**Paperback Rider**: Yay! My favorite drabble author reviewed me! Thanks a bunch for the FIRST review! It means a lot to me to see an author I love review me. :) I'm glad you liked it!

**GalacticHitchhiker42**: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. Drabbles are fun to write too… They take less than 5 minutes. XP

**inu's gothic ravyn**: n.n Glad you liked it!

**Mog Knight**: Don't worry, not everything in here is yaoi, so hopefully you'll like the rest of my stuff too. Thanks for reviewing!

**Fading Wind**: Ed knows no shame. Isn't that right, Ed::crickets chirp: … Okay! Thank you for the review! n.n


	3. Roy x Ed: Wrench

A/N: … I don't like Winry very much… / Hope this drabble entertains!

**4. Roy x Ed – Wrench **

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My brother, Al, keeps telling me I should go on a date with Winry. Why the hell would I do that? She's not like me at all. We try to get along, honest, we do, but she always has to mess everything up! We're in constant fights… 

I'm sick of all the fighting. I'm sick of her yelling and her screaming and her crying. Everyone else seems to think it's cute, the two of us being together, but it just makes me sick. Literally! She hit me on the head with her wrench once, and I was in bed, unconscious, for a week. Al just laughed at me when I finally woke up, but I was boiling mad. That was the last straw. I am fed up with Winry.

Although, I wouldn't mind being beaten with a wrench by Mustang. In fact, I think I'd kinda like it…

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**Reviewer Responses! **

**inu's gothic ravyn**: Armstrong-chan loves himself, yes he does. :hugs Armstrong: He totally rocks… Anyway, thanks for all the reviews! See ya when I get your next one! ;)

**Mog Knight:** Of course Armstrong-chan is a narcissist (just like his master… er… I mean fanfic author, yours truly… :sweatdrop:)! Thank you very much for the review:)


	4. Roy x Ed: I Was There

A/N: I totally forgot I had this drabble! I like it, since I'm a fan of romantic angst, but, just to warn you, there is… well… ANGST:does the angst dance: angstangstangst… er… read and review!

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**4. Roy x Ed – I Was There**

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I was there when she shot him. I was there when she fired that bullet. I saw the way her eyes looked. They scared me. Deep amber eyes, narrowed to angry slits. Her fingers clenched so tightly around that trigger… A sliver of her gritted teeth in a grimace of malice was only the beginning of a sickening smile yet to come. 

I was there when he fell. I was there to watch his eyes cloud over with a deathly mist. I was there, watching the entire time as drop by drop, each pint of blood was quickly lost through the wound in the back of his head. I was an onlooker only. A mere, innocent bystander.

She dropped the gun and grinned. No blood tainted her white fingertips. I don't think she felt guilty at all. I think she thought that by killing him, our past love for each other would be restored.

But never again. Never again will I ever love Riza Hawkeye, the woman who killed him.

I was there when Edward Elric died.

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**Reviewer Responses!**

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**Fading Wind**: Yay! Another person who thinks like me. I personally hate Winry x Ed pairings (even worse is Winry x Al o.o Poor Al!), but mostly it's just my personal vendetta against almost all main female characters… / Hmm… Ed x Rose… Yeah, I can see it. XD Thanks for the review:) 

**nadisrad**: That's right! Armstrong-sama needs more fics! 'Cuz he ROOLZ! XD But thank you very much for your compliments and for your review. :)

**mmmslash**: Yep, Armstong-sama is TEH KEWL:-P But yeah, lmao, handle your undies in public… That cracked me up. XP Thanks for the review:)

**Mint Pizza Queen**: Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it. :)

**Mog Knight**:hypnotizes you: You will love Royed. You will love it. You know you want to love it:waves Royed fics in your face: Yessss, it is gooooood, no? Sorry, I is very muchly an obsessed Royed Fan… :drools: 'Kay, I'll stop slobbering on your response now and say thank you for the review:)

**kawaiialchemist**: Thanks very much! I love yaoi too:D Royed is my favorite FMA couple (quickly followed by RoyxRiza for some reason… wonder why… /). Thanks for the review:)

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I wonder why I end all of these with smilies… My face kinda hurts now from all that smiling… / Ah well. Later, folks! ;) Damn! There go the smilies again… 

---crazykitsune17---


	5. Roy x Ed: Trix

A/N: This drabble is dedicated to Mog Knight because she parodied the Trix line in her review. :)

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**5. Roy x Ed – Trix**

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It was five-thirty AM – a good two hours earlier than when Roy Mustang normally woke up. But today was not a normal day. Today was the day that Roy would finally get ahold of the cereal… 

The delicious, fruity cereal in question was on the lowest shelf in the kitchen pantry at Roy's house – put there specifically by Edward Elric just to make Roy hurt his back to reach it – and today, Thursday, June 15, _he_ was going to get the last bowl of Trix.

He had woken up at five-thirty just for that occasion. Usually, Ed was up before him and thus almost always beat him to breakfast. Why the two boys never _shared_ the cereal was a mystery, but it was always fun to argue over who got the Trix.

There was only one serving left. After an entire week going without Trix cereal for breakfast, Roy was determined to eat the last bowl. Even though he had barely slept for five hours, he wasn't tired. He knew he needed to be wide awake if he was going to outsmart Ed in getting the cereal…

Tiptoeing into the kitchen, Roy quietly opened the pantry door and bent down, chocolate eyes scanning the bottom shelf for the elusive red cereal box… It wasn't there! "What?" gasped Roy, standing up and turning around.

Ed was there to greet him, empty Trix box in one hand and a bowl of fruity cereal with a spoon in it in the other. He grinned maliciously, sending sharp stabs of pain through Roy's ego – once again, the FullMetal boy had thwarted him and robbed him of a bowl of good cereal!

"Silly, Mustang," teased Ed, his voice laced with giddiness. "Trix are for kids."

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**Reviewer Responses!**

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**Mint Pizza Queen**: Yep! Riza did it:points finger accusingly: You DARE get in the way of Roy x Ed:hiss: Nah, just kiddin'. I like Riza. Aaanyway, I is glad you enjoyed it! That makes me happy. n.n I'm a big fan of angst, so there are a few more of these angsty-type drabbles in my arsenal. Thanks for the review! 

**Mog Knight**: I almost died when I read your review. 'Cuz I actually had a drabble using that Trix line… o.o Spooky, ne? So thanks for inspiring me to post this one early (it's one of my later drabbles, fyi). :) – THE SMILEYS ATTACK BACK! Thanks for the review!

**Bakuras-Hell**: Thanks very much. I love angsty romance. 'Tis fun to write. Glad you like my drabbles! Thanks for the review!

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I don't know why Ed is eating cereal… Cereal normally requires milk… Though one time I did have Cookie Crisp with orange juice, and it was pretty good… so maybe Ed eats it with orange juice… o.O;; Also, he's admitting he's a kid here, which is a bit OOC, but who cares! I wanted him to say that line SO BADLY :breaks things: 'Kay, I'll shut up now and leave ya'll be. Ja ne! 

--crazykitsune17--


	6. Roy x Armstrong: Secrets

A/N: Have no fear! There ARE other pairings in this besides Roy x Ed! XD Please read and review!

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**6. Roy x Armstrong – Secrets**

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Armstrong had barged into Roy's office early one Monday morning, a look of urgency on his strong-jawed face. The pink sparkles orbiting around his head were twinkling and dancing much faster than usual, looking as if they were about to explode. Armstrong had entered the office without a shirt on – which was nothing unusual for him; his shirt was known to rip off at the oddest of times anyway – and once inside, embraced the Flame Alchemist and pulled him into a strong bear hug.

Roy was taken completely by surprise at the incident, his dark eyes expanding and face turning a strange purple color due to the two massive meat slabs Armstrong called arms locked around his neck. It took him a while to get his bearings and finally hear just what Major Armstrong was saying.

"Colonel Mustang, I love you! I cannot keep this secret any longer!"

Roy wriggled – with much difficulty – out of Armstrong's tight hug, feeling slightly naked afterward. The weight of his muscles was gone, and during his attempted assassination – known to Armstrong as a loving, tender hug – Roy found himself actually liking Major Armstrong's close companionship.

Colonel Mustang grinned, looking up at Armstrong's dazzling and twinkling eyes. "Looks like keeping secrets is something that _hasn't_ been passed down the Armstrong line for generations, huh, Major?"

Armstrong looked down, almost shameful at his family line's inability to keep secrets. Sighing, he answered softly, "No, sir. It isn't."

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**Reviewer Responses!**

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**Mint Pizza Queen:** Aw, thank you. I have a super-dooper hard time coming up with chapter titles (I don't know why I don't don't stick to names like "Chapter One", etc.), so thanks for that. Glad to see SOMEONE pays attention to titles… n.n Yep! Smarty-pants Ed, tricks Roy-chan out of the Trix… heheh… And yep, there is more angst on the way, though I do have to say I have more "cutesy/funny" drabbles than angsty ones, but I'll work on that. Thanks very much for the review!

**Kiyuu-Chan**:looks at previous chapters: Huh, you're right. Most of 'em ARE Roy x Ed. Sorry about that! I do promise that there ARE other pairings (like this one), so don't lose faith in me here! I just have an incurable obsession for Roy x Ed, and I guess it shows, huh? But thanks for the pairings suggestions. I actully have no Ed x Al ones (which is weird, 'cuz I'm a shipper of that… :sweatdrop:)… Again, thanks for the review!

**Mog Knight**: Thanks much! No problem for the dedication – you just inspired me to post that chapter early. I think that was actually the original "Chapter 17" or something like that… -- Great, now I'm going to have to do a Frosted Flakes themed drabble now… I'll work on that. XD Thanks for the review!

**Fading Wind**: Well, I've only had Cookie Crisp with orange juice, and I was probably about eight years old, so I'm not sure if it would really taste that great… :sweatdrop: Lol, yay, no one cares about the OOC-ness! After spending a lot of time at GAFF and reading all of the "anti-canon and OOC-ness is BAD!" things, I've been getting scared, since a lot of what I write is OOC… o.o Anyway, thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	7. Roy x Ed: Cute Kitty

A/N: I know, I know, another RoyEd drabble… This is the last one for a while, though, I think, soooooo… yeah. :sweatdrop: Please read and review!

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**7. Roy x Ed – Cute Kitty**

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"Brother?" 

"What?" The older Elric brother turned to face Al and found him with a timid, cutesy face upon his shining suit of armor – the signal for Ed to immediately become suspicious. "What is it, Al…?"

Al pushed his two index fingers together and looked up at the crystal blue sky to stall for time. Ed put on his "I am suspicious – fear me!" look and wiggled his eyebrows at Al, who didn't notice. Finally, Al blurted, "I saw this kitty today and it reminded me of you! It was cute."

Ed blinked a couple times. His head tilted onto his shoulder with a creak like a rusty door, and his neck cracked. Ed pushed his head back to a straight position and looked at Al again. "Huh?"

Al put up his hands in front of his face and shook them vigorously, trying to erase any weird thoughts that Ed might be having about him. "I-I'm just relaying a message from Colonel Mustang!" Al shouted nervously. "He called me over this morning and told me to tell you that. He says he loves you!"

"………………………… Oh." Ed scratched his head, searching for something witty to say back to the Colonel. He smiled. "Well, Al, you can tell Mustang that I said 'I saw a dog turd today, and it reminded _me_ of _you_.' Then you can give him a nice, big hug and tell him, 'I love you too, Roy-chan'."

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A/N: A bit OOC, but fun. :sighs: Ah well. :)

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**Reviewer Responses!**

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**inu's gothic ravyn**: Aw, "Bombest Person Ever"? n.n YAY! Thanks; I'm glad you enjoyed these. And the log-in issue has been solved! I forgot I had disabled anonymous reviews… / I coulda sworn I did… Oh well. Thanks again for the reviews! 

**Mog Knight**: I have a soft spot where Armstrong is concerned. I think it's because he and I just might tie in a "Who Has the Larger Ego?" contest. XP But yeah, poor Roy, caught in Armstrong's Hug of Death is just too cute. n.n Anyway, glad you like! Thanks very much for the review that you love writing – keep writing them! XD

**Fading Wind**: Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever really read anything Roy x Armstrong-flavored either… / Hmmmm… I have read Armstrong x Pinako, and I must say, that one scares me… o.o But yeah, Roy x Ed is definitely better. n.n Teh Hawtness!11!ONE!1 XDDD Thanks for the review!

**Mint Pizza Queen**: XD I just figured when I wrote this "Ya know, these are my two favorite FMA bishies that are over five feet six inches, so I think I'll pair them up together!" Good, I'm glad you like cute as well as angsty, but I try to have a balance here. Some of these later ones of mine are more angsty. Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	8. Winry x Al: Plumbing

A/N: Just to inform everybody, I don't like Winry. I'll get that out in the open now. Personally, I like to commit virtual suicide whenever I read something with this pairing, but I thought I'd do one of my own just for kicks. :sweatdrop: Don't judge on my character preference! o.o

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**8. Winry x Al – Plumbing**

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Winry had been following Al since he and Ed left the Rockbell Automail Shop two weeks ago. She was there, peering in through the windows of their bedroom at Central. The Elric brothers didn't spend their entire day in the bedroom, so in the meantime, Winry took apart the pipes used for plumbing along the side of the building and put them back together.

Al knew she was down there. He'd see her every night before he and his brother went to sleep. Those big blue eyes were hard to miss in the beauty of the moonlight. But Al never said anything.

It was early one Tuesday morning when Al finally shoved open the window and yelled down at the girl standing below. "Winry!" Al cried. "Winry!"

Winry turned and blinked, surprised to hear her beloved calling to her. She put on her most adorable, sparkle-eyed face and answered in a syrupy voice, "Yes, Al?"

"Winry, I know you've been messing with the plumbing. Our toilet's been acting funny, and now Ed's really mad!"

Winry blinked again, this time surprised at how she had screwed up the plumbing. _I couldn't do that… I'm too good at this kind of stuff! I couldn't make a mistake… could I?_ "What?"

Winry heard Ed's yelps coming from the bathroom upstairs. Al turned around just in time to catch his older brother and keep him from slipping on the toilet water that had flooded their entire bedroom. Ed stuck his head out the window and shouted down at Winry, "Winry! What the hell did you do to our toilet?"

Winry shifted nervously in place on the ground, digging her toes into the dirt. She didn't know what to say to Ed. So instead, she spoke to Al. "Hey, Al, wanna go on a date?"

Al paused. Ed looked livid. "No, not really," Al replied. "Sorry Winry."

He closed the window.

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**Reviewer Responses!**

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**Fading Wind**: A friend of mine who reads these drabbles pointed out to me that there's hardly any Al in any of these fics. That's why Al was in there. Plus, it was kind of a funny Elricest insinuation (I'm an Elricest shipper too… hee hee), but yep! It ends up Roy x Ed. Gotta luff that. ;) Thanks for the review!

**Mog Knight**: Teh Almightie RoyEd 4eva!11!1one!1 le w00t-ness much! XD Thanks for the review!

**Mint Pizza Queen**: Good, I'm glad you can see balance. Usually, balance is something I am terrible at… :falls over: That and subtlety. As a friend of mine so kindly put it "Ah! He smiled at me; I am madly in love with him!" Eh… long story there:sweatdrop: Anyway, thank you very much for the review:)

**inu's gothic ravyn**: I suppose it was kind of confusing. Meh! It was fun:giggles: I can't wait until I post Drabble #13… :giggles some more: Thanks very much for the review; I'm glad you liked it.

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	9. Roy x Lust: Stalker

A/N: This drabble kind of tests my "K+" rating… I know I'll have to change it once another drabble of mine comes along… :nervous laughter: So anyway, this drabble's pairing was something I originally made up (though it's probably been done before) but a friend of mine suggested I do a drabble on it. So I did. And here it is. Please review!

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**9. Roy x Lust – Stalker**

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"I've had my eye on you for a while, Colonel."

Roy stared into the receiver of the phone he had just picked up. The voice on the other end was unrecognizable, but it was sultry, soft, and made the growth between his legs tingle and shudder. "Who is this?" he asked breathlessly.

There was a sigh. She wasn't sure she wanted to tell him… What would the Colonel Roy Mustang, a mortal human, think of her, a homunculi, Lust? The more she thought about it, the more absurd she found the situation. _Hah. Human and a homunculi. It'll never work… Why did I even pick up the phone?_

Gluttony was at her side, as usual, tugging on her arm and begging, "Can I eat him? Oh, pleeeease, can I eat him? Pretty please?" Lust smacked Gluttony's hand away and whispered back into the phone:

"My name…" Lust hesitated. "My name is not important."

Roy was silent on the other end. He couldn't resist the allure of mysterious, sexy woman, especially when they teased him like this. He looked around his empty office. No one there; the coast was clear. His lips were so close to the receiver that Lust could hear him breathing, could feel his increased heart rate, as he said, "That's okay. Meet me in my office tonight, ten-thirty. It's—"

"I know where it is," Lust said. "I've been watching you for some time now, or didn't I already say that?"

A bead of sweat trickled down the side of Roy's face. There was nothing sexier to him than a nameless female stalker.

"Oh, by the way," whispered Lust. "I'm a homunculi." She hung up the phone.

Roy rewrote his train of thought. _There is nothing sexier than a stalking, nameless _homunculi… _Damn…_

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**Reviewer Responses!**

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**Fading Wind**: The first time I ever saw FMA, the first pairing that came to mind was Ed x Al. :sweatdrop: Roy x Ed, I think, was second… oo; Heh, I don't really like any main character anime girls. I don't like Kagome from Inuyasha or Keiko from Yu Yu Hakusho or Akane from Ranma ½. Though the masochistic side of me writes stuff with pairings I dislike, just to see if I can do it. Thanks for the review!

**inu's gothic ravyn**: Oh, you're too nice to me. :blush: I know, yessss, Winry – dumped. :smiles triumphantly: hee hee. Thanks very much for the review!

**Mog Knight**: O.O :eye twitch: I can't stand Ed x Winry (but Al x Winry is definitely worse, in my opinion – poor Al:weeps:). I've been known to be hated for my lack of respect for canonistic pairings… / But yes, thank you very much for the review!

**Mint Pizza Queen**: Lol, irony! That's so spooky when things that are written about in fanfics actually happen. I know it's happened to me before, but I can't think of any specific examples… : ( To add on to the rest of your review – "Poor Al because he was asked!" :sweatdrop: Oops, is that being biased against Winry? I guess it is… I'll be quiet now… Thanks for the review!

**MetalWingAlchemist**: I'm glad you like my work. "Trix" was one of my favorites, too. :) I'll see if I can get around to reading your fic! Thanks for the review!

**nadisrad**: The Armstrong x Roy thing was just because I love pairing up favorite characters of mine. Though FMA is one of those few animes where I love just about everybody (except for Winry… / And Envy 'cuz he's scary, but I guess I like him okay…), so there are plenty of opportunities for weird pairings! Anyway, thanks for the review! Glad you liked!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	10. Roy x Havoc: Taste

A/N: Oh, I love this drabble. I forgot I had this one, but now that I remember it, this one definitely ranks among my favorites. XD And two pairings in one… sort of! AND you can interpret this ending a couple of different ways. ;) Please read and review!

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**10. Roy x Havoc – Taste

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**Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc was outside the Central building, watching Major Armstrong stroll around the vicinity with his arm around Riza Hawkeye and smoking a cigarette – his usual midday routine minus the whole Armstrong and Hawkeye thing. That was completely new to him. 

_Hawkeye and Armstrong… Who'da thought…?_ Havoc let his cigarette slide into the corner of his mouth and hang there as he pondered romance – something he had received very little of recently.

Colonel Roy Mustang was also outside, military jacket shed as he stood under the sun in just a T-shirt and his navy pants. Havoc sighed, exhaling smoke as he did so. What he wouldn't give for a night out with Mustang… He was hot.

Just then, Mustang came strolling by, walking right up to Jean Havoc himself, making so much eye contact it was almost scary. Havoc took a few calming puffs on his cigarette and noticed that his pulse was racing. Mustang grinned, reaching out a hand to take the cigarette right from Havoc's mouth. He took a long drag, sucking in the nicotine and blowing out the smoke. Havoc could only stare and mumble, "I didn't know you smoked."

Mustang just shrugged and put the cigarette back in Havoc's mouth. "I like your taste," he said, and he walked away.

Havoc blinked, tilting his head as he watched Mustang saunter away back into the main building, apparently done with his midday break. And he wondered: _What the hell did_ that _mean?

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**Fading Wind**: Thanks. A lot of my free time is spent just thinking up random pairings, hence these odd little drabbles. XD I have yet to do a Russel x Ed one. I might in the future (I already have 21 more of these in my drabble arsenal, so it'll be a while before I write one of that theme). As for other pairings, you'll just have to wait and see. Though I think my Roy x Lust and Roy x Armstrong ones are the weirdest I've done so far… / Thanks for the review!

**inu's gothic ravyn**: I like to log in because it shows your name in pretty blue colors. XD Anyway, yeah… Silly, poor Roy-chan that I luff so much… :huggles him: I'm pretty sure the last drabble was the first I've ever seen of the Roy x Lust kind too… I'm glad you like it. Yes, poor Gluttony does need a bit of a diet, but he's so funny:pokes him:continues poking…: Er… thanks for the review:sweatdrop:

**Mint Pizza Queen**: Lol, it's okay. Hee hee, now that you mention it, I can see Roy all "OO" too. That's a funny image… :giggles: Really? You love Gluttony? I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE! YAY! Gluttony is awesome, though my favorite sin is Lust. I don't know why… / Augh, everybody else on AnimeSpiral commented on the "female stalker" thing. Are female stalkers really that weird? I didn't think they were that uncommon… Maybe it's just because I am one in a way… (purposely running into people I like, doing Charlie's Angels style sneaking around boys' bathrooms… er… yeah… :sweatdrop:) Anyway! Thanks muchly for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	11. Havoc x Fuery: Cleaning

A/N: I blame all of you FFN people for getting me hooked on this pairing. v.v

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**11. Havoc x Fuery – Cleaning

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**

It was a late night at the offices at Central. An explosion in Roy's office was the main cause of it. None of the other military officials figured out exactly what caused it, but they could all guess. Both Ed and Roy were sporting bruises, burns and other injuries all over their bodies when they stumbled out of the burning office seconds after the explosion.

Jean Havoc and Kain Fuery were the only ones still left in the main building. They had been forced to scrub the walls of Roy's office, trying desperately to wash off or cover up the scorch marks left there. In order to reach the ceiling, Havoc had lifted Fuery on top of his shoulders while he held a sponge and a bucket of water. Fuery had terrible balance and, more than once, Havoc had found himself doused in soapy, ashy water as Fuery dropped the bucket and clung tightly to his shoulders to alleviate his fear of falling.

Finally, Havoc had thrown Fuery off his shoulders and told him to sit still while he cleaned the ceiling himself. Unfortunately, Havoc didn't have that great of balance either, and he fell off the desk that he was standing on, right into Fuery's arms.

Fuery blushed, his cheeks crimson. He told himself he should let go, but Havoc felt right in his grasp.

Havoc looked at Fuery for a moment, then shrugged. Whatever. It felt right to him too. So he stayed there all night.

Roy was angry when he found out the next day that his office had not been properly cleaned.

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**inu's gothic ravyn**: Aw, how kind of you to log in "just for me". ;) Anyway, I'm glad you liked it! The Roy x Havoc one was definitely one of my favorites. n.n Thanks for the review!

**Mint Pizza Queen**: O.O And I thought I was being totally original with the Riza x Armstrong idea… TT Awww… someone beat me to it. Oh well. That's funny. XD Lmao, I made a friend of mine write a Reader x Gluttony fanfic once… it was great. :-P As for stalkers, I guess that just makes me weird, being the uncommon female stalker… :goes off to go stalk hawt boiz: Thanks for the review!

**Fading Wind**: Roy x Havoc makes me go "Awww…" Then again, so does Roy x Ed, Roy x Riza, and Roy x Armstrong… I just love Roy too much… uu It's almost an unhealthy obsession… oO; Aw, Gluttony is le cute! n.n Kind of… not really… I dunno… :sweatdrop: Lust is my favorite sin. Envy's cool, but he's scary… oo Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	12. Roy x Riza: Eating Out

A/N: This was an omake thing for another fanfic of mine (soon to be posted here on FFN, just be patient) that a friend suggested, and it's just one of those silly "just for the heck of it" drabbles. Please review!

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**12. Roy x Riza – Eating Out

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**

Roy was looking spiffy. More spiffy than usual, that is. He grinned, checking himself out in the window of a nearby eatery. His teeth were immaculate, polished to a shine thanks to ten minutes of hardcore brushing, and his hair was just right. No need to even pat it down or smooth it out; Roy_ knew_ it was perfect.

He was waiting for Riza. They were supposed to be on a date – their first, formal, _real_ date – and Roy was excited. He was wearing his best, most expensive suit he owned - even a tie! His shoes were as polished as his teeth, if not more, and his State Alchemist's watch was a trendy accessory. He looked _damn_ good… if he didn't say so himself.

Just then, he spotted Riza, looking charming in a nice white blouse and dressy business pants. Between both her and Roy, it looked like they were going to a gala night at an opera rather than a restaurant. Roy flashed her one of his stunning smiles as he sauntered up to her and grabbed her around the waist.

"Shall we go in?" he asked. Riza smiled politely back and answered, "Sure. Where are we going?"

Roy's smile faltered a bit. "We're eating here, Riza," he said. "Come on, let's go in."

The bell above the door jingled as the two walked in, hand in hand, Riza completely turned off when she realized that Roy had taken her out to a Burger King.

"Hardcore brushing"… I sound like I'm advertising for some new kind of freaky porno… XDDDD

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**TheBlondeWriter**: Chyeah, Havoc is awesome. Especially when he's paired with Fuery or Roy or… well, I won't go on because that would be spoiling some other drabbles of mine! o.o Subliminal Message to you: Roy. Is. Awesome. Can you tell I'm an obsessed fangirl:sweatdrop: Heh. Thanks for the review!

**Shimmy**: Thanks for all the reviews! I loved your "Havok. Yum. XD" review. XD I giggled. Thanks again!

**inu's gothic ravyn**: Aww, I am le touched. n.n Anyway, if you wanna hear my personal opinion as to what caused the explosion (the point was for the readers to speculate, but this is what I think) was that well, Roy and Ed were doing… yaoi things (you know what I mean), and Ed decided that he felt violated and punched Roy, and that set Roy off, so he blew up the office and burned it… Aaaand… that's my theory. XP Thank you very much for the review!

**Fading Wind**: Read above Reviewer Response to see my opinion on what happened. n.n Though it is entirely up to the reader to guess what caused it – a lot of my drabbles are kinda like that… Well, not a lot, but some. Anyway, heh, what's wrong with being obsessed with FMA:wears FMA T-shirt, puts FMA manga in FMA bag and attaches FMA keychain to said FMA bag…: It's not weird… :-P EVERY DAY I think of Roy. Roy Roy Roy. He's always on my mind. What a hottie. :le giggle: Envy is a bad bad sin-child for the Hughes ordeal… :sniff: I was thinking about Hughes last night and then I started crying. Good for me. I'm so pathetic… T.T Thanks for the review!

**Mint Pizza Queen**: Whew! I'm glad I did not disappoint with the "good"-ness. :sweatdrop: I think that is the only Havoc x Fuery drabble I have so far… Hmmm… I don't consider myself a die-hard Havoc x Fuery fan, and I think that other people can write better Havoc x Fuerys than I can, so I just dabble in that little bit there… Ah! I'm rambling! Okay, well, just for you, I am going to give you the link for my friend's fic. It WAS going to be Reader x Gluttony, but she changed it to get more readers so now it's kind of a Reader x Everybody fic. It's still funny though. Okay, since I just figured out FFN doesn't like links, her website is pen name Flower Girl, and the fic's name is "One Perfect Rose". She's the same girl who gives me the ideas for half of these drabbles (including this one! o.o)! Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	13. Roy x Ed: Delusion

A/N: Favorite drabble :points: Right here! All right, here's the thing. I managed to confuse everybody on AnimeSpiral with this drabble. If you understand it and know what's going on, you get to pick the next pairing and/or theme for the next drabble. If you have a guess as to what the hell's goin' on, please review and also submit a pairing and/or theme in case you win.

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**13. Roy x Ed – Existence

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**

I can't say how many times I keep telling them about Edward Elric. At first, they were lighthearted and would always casually ask me, "Hey, Mustang. How's Edward doing?" and I would reply, "He's doing well," or "He's in a bad mood today."

I could never hear their snickering and mocking before. I turned a blind eye to the rude pointing gestures made my way. I ignored people who whispered about me behind my back. But I can hear it now. I can hear every word.

They call me crazy. A raving lunatic who can't tell dreams from reality. They laugh and make faces whenever I come near. No one takes me seriously anymore.

They're wrong. They're wrong! I don't understand why they all act they way they do, why they think that everything I've told them is all a well-fabricated lie. It's not. Every word I tell them is true. Edward Elric exists. I am not embracing air when I touch him in the halls. I can feel him, half flesh, half automail, but all Edward. He's there! He lives here, here at Central. He lives with me.

Edward Elric is not a lie. He is not a delusion that my mind has created. He is there. And I love him.

More pointing fingers. It's the same thing every time I try and walk down a hall. "There goes Mustang, the crazy one. He keeps thinking there's someone named Edward Elric here…"

I glare at them. Edward Elric does exist. He is beside me right now, golden head lying on my arm. I don't understand why the rest of the military just doesn't see that.

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**inu's gothic ravyn**: Lol, glad ya liked the theory… :le sweatdrop: Anyway, man, if there's one line of mine that I like, it's "hardcore brushing". Cracks me up every time… Ahh, there goes the ego again. I love my own jokes… :sigh: Aaanyway… Thank you very much for the review (to insert rhyme: "Cows say moo!"):D

**Fading Wind**: Wow, you live in Hong Kong? Long ways away from my residence… :sweatdrop: Big freakin' city… I'd kill to visit there (I live in a farm town in the middle of nowhere… -.-). Anyway, you're so lucky! My friends never get me anime-ish stuff. Although they do come through with neat homemade things like bead animals pigs… and paper clips. Hee hee. n.n And what? Al die instead of Hughes? No way! Al's too young and innocent and kawaii:sobs: I love Al! And I love Hughes too… Ya know? Pinako should've died. Just… random death. In place of Hughes-sama… So now I'm rambling. Thank you for your review!

**Mint Pizza Queen**: Cool, you're very welcome for the link. n.n Aah! I love the word "spiffy" too:hugs word: Damn right Roy-chan is freakin' spiffy… :throws confetti: Yay! Yep, typical manly Roy takes Riza to a Burger King. Hey, ya know, I'd go to Burger King with Roy… I'd go garbage-picking with Roy if that's what it took for us to get food. :is avid disciple of the Church of Roy:worships bishie: I remember laughing so hard when I wrote "hardcore brushing"… It's just that weird "hardcore"… sounds so… porn-y. XD Hah. Thanks for the review!

**Sage-and-Jade**: Thank you, I'm glad you like my drabbles. If I get time, I'll get around to checking out your fics! Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	14. Riza x Al Kitty

A/N: Well, I managed to confuse most of you. Though some of you did come close. The closest was Mint Pizza Queen with her Theory Number 2. So therefore, she gets to choose the next pairing and/or theme for the next drabble! Congrats, Mint Pizza Queen! Anyway, here is what REALLY happened:

Roy is officially insane. Ed is just a delusion. He doesn't exist, but since Roy is crazy and just longing for love, his brain has created someone for him to love. His mind has created Ed, a figment of of Roy's imagination that is the image of everything Roy wants in his life. But since Ed is imaginary, only Roy can see him, and that's why the military makes fun of him. Get it now:-P Hah. Enjoy this drabble. Please review!

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**14. Riza x Al – Kitty

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**

There was music playing in Lieutenant Hawkeye's room when Al ventured down the hall to go visit her. Some kind of Spanish dance tune, Al figured. Funny; he never really pegged Lieutenant Hawkeye as a dancing kind of person. Then again, he had never pegged his own brother as the kind of guy who would fall for his own assassin, Scar, either. Anything was possible.

Which was why he was about to knock on Lieutenant Hawkeye's door in the first place. Earlier that morning, he had gone to ask the Colonel if he had any advice. Mustang had sat at his desk, chin in hand, pondering his answer to Al's question. But not before he had had a good laugh first.

"You got a special lady, eh, Alphonse?" Roy had teased, smiling oddly. Apparently Roy hadn't realized that Al's "special lady" was Hawkeye. Al tilted his head down, and Roy spun around in his chair. "Hmmm," he said. "Well, I haven't been having much luck in getting girls lately, but it's an honor you've come to me for advice."

"I figured Brother wouldn't be very good at it since he fell in love with a man."

Roy laughed. "Why don't you get her a gift?" he suggested.

Al had taken Colonel Mustang's advice. All it took was a step outside Central, and Al had found the perfect present. Later, a trip to Lieutenant Ross's office provided him with the pink ribbon, and then Al was done. He had the best gift he could ever give Riza Hawkeye.

Al was still paused at the door, the Spanish dance song escaping through the cracks in the door. He knocked, and Hawkeye opened the door.

"Alphonse?"

Al brought out his present from behind his back. "I got you this kitty. And I named her Riza because I love you."

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**Too lazy to do reviewer responses… sorry – next time, I promise!

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--crazykitsune17--


	15. Riza x Ed: Miniskirts

A/N: This is dedicated to Mint Pizza Queen! Guess what, you lucky people of FFN? This is this drabble's debut on the Internet. All of the previous drabbles are already posted on AnimeSpiral, but this one is SPESHUL! Read! Review! (and then get Luvs)

PS – I am changing this fic to be updated daily instead of every other day. Hope that makes some folks happy!

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**15. Riza x Ed – Miniskirts

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**

Riza Hawkeye had seen pictures. She'd even seen the girl in person – once or twice, just briefly. This… Winry… Winry Rockbell. Riza had seen her. She didn't like her very much.

It was obvious that Winry and Ed were close friends. Much closer than the first lieutenant was – or ever would be – with the little FullMetal Alchemist. The thought brought a frown to her lips.

It wouldn't be hard to kill Winry. No. Not hard at all. As far as Hawkeye was concerned, Winry didn't look like much. Just an average girl who knew how to fix automail. And unless she knew how to fling screwdrivers like kunai, Riza knew that in an all-out battle between the two of them, she would win.

But there was no point in killing Winry. What good would that do? Riza had a brain in her head. She knew that if she shot Winry – whether it be once or twice or a hundred times – Ed would hate her. He'd never forgive her. Sparing the life of one she loathed was worth still having Ed's trust. Riza knew she would never lay a bullet on Winry Rockbell.

Long hours had been spent on trying to see what exactly it was that Ed saw in Winry. Usually on her paperwork, Riza scrawled little notes in regards to everything about Winry. What she wore. What she looked like. How she acted. And from her careful analysis, Riza knew she was Winry's exact opposite.

The thought still nagged at her though. Did Ed _really _like Winry the way everyone else seemed to think he did? Did he really like her shrill, high-pitched voice, her silly laugh, her almost unhealthy and unorthodox obsession in mechanics? Or was it… something else… that Ed liked?

Was it, perhaps, the miniskirt she always wore when she came to visit him?

Riza bit her lip as she twisted her pencil. Was that really all it came to? A simple strip of cloth wrapped around one's waist? That little rag called a miniskirt? A nauseous feeling came to the pit of her stomach when she realized Mustang quite possibly had a brain in that lump of thick skull atop his shoulders when it came to women's clothing.

Miniskirts. The simple solution.

Or not so simple. The next day, Riza encountered many awkward questions regarding her uniform, none of them questions she really wanted to answer – not because they were inappropriate and rude, but because most of them came from Mustang himself.

And Ed hardly did so much as say "Good morning"…

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**MetalWing Alchemist**: Some of these pairing in this fic are those random 1am crack-ish ideas… Sometimes they end up cute, and other times they end up making the reader barf up fruitcake. But I'm glad you enjoyed them! XD Thanks for the review!

**FadingWind**: Yeah, I can't really see Al with Riza either… I mean, I could if I REALLY tried, but I agree, I prefer Roy x Riza, but it's kind of a tie between Ed x Riza and Havoc x Riza for second place. :) Thanks for the review!

**Kari Williams**: I've read the pairing here before, and that got me thinking, "Well, hey, that ain't such a bad idea", so Ed x Scar managed to sneak its way into that drabble… It's not as bad as Al x Scar though; that one just scares me, though I can see where people get the idea. There was that one episode (forget which; porous memory) where Al was kind of on top of him… :giggle giggle: Anyway, thanks for the review!

**Mint Pizza Queen**: Yep! Congratulations to you for "winning" the "contest". ;) I hope you liked the drabble. Yeah, Ed x Scar is kinda spooky, but in my brain, it's possible (then again, my brain is the one that came up with Hughes x Armstrong a long time ago – you really don't want to hear about that one o.o). :) And of course it's no surprise Al got Riza a kitty. What else would he get her, a pet snake? How romantic. :gets ideas: Wait a second, now that's something Roy could do to Ed… Awww… now you've got me all thinking again… And now I just totally lost my original train of thought. :coughs: So anyway, what I'm really trying to say here is thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	16. Roy x Ed: Cry

A/N: Okay, well, this is the shortened version of how I came up with this drabble: I like a guy (I shall dub him "Seisuke"). I am obsessed with Seisuke. Seisuke has told me we're just friends. Seisuke and I are going to the same high school this year. I am desperate to win his affectionate. So, while I'm sitting around one day wondering how to attract his attention, I came up with this idea. I would never do it because suicide is so not my thing, but it makes for a good drabble. :sweatdrop: Read and review!

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**16. Roy x Ed – Cry

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"Colonel Mustang?"

FullMetal approached me in the hallway that morning just as I was about to enter my office for another day of paperwork – paperwork caused by the little midget in the first place. Needless to say, I wasn't really pleased with the young alchemist. Lately, he had been getting on my nerves more and more… or so I thought.

"What is it, FullMetal?"

FullMetal's eyes blinked once, maybe twice. They were gold. I just realized that. That day, though, I mostly just realized how… odd… he looked. I couldn't put my finger on the word exactly, but now I realize that just a three-letter word would suffice to describe it: sad.

"Would you cry at my funeral if I died?"

I remember smiling at this question. FullMetal sure could be weird at times…

"I dunno, FullMetal." I nudged him jokingly. "Why don't we try it to find out?"

I never really expected him to. I never expected him to draw out a gun from his pocket and press it to his left temple. I never expected him to pull the trigger. I never really expected him to die.

And two tears ran down my cheek the day he was buried.

Yes, FullMetal. If it answers your question, yes, I did cry at your funeral.

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**Reviewer Resonses!

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**MetalWing Alchemist**: Thanks! I know, I felt so bad for poor Riza… Normally, I would give her Ed because I don't like the Ed x Winry pairing at all, but this opportunity for angst (or whatever it was) was too good to pass up. n.n Anyway, yeah, I can't see her in a miniskirt… Well, okay, yeah, I can, but… usually it's desperate!Riza who wears the miniskirt in my mind and not normal!canon!Riza :-P Thanks for the review!

**Fading Wind**: That's okay. Hopefully I'll have other pairings you enjoy. :) Though personally, Riza x Ed makes me SMILE. n.n But thank you very much for your compliments and your reivew!

**TheBlondeWriter**: Hah! I know what you mean. I am one of those people who rarely wears skirts or shorts except on days when it's super hot out or those days where she feels like impressing the city boys. :-P I live in the country and the boy closest to my age is an obese high school dropout who's like… 25 by now. o.o So the city is always fun to flaunteth thyself. XDDD I sound like a whore, don't I? Ha ha, oops:sweatdrop: Anyway, thanks for the review:)

**Mint Pizza Queen**: Thanks! I'm very glad you liked it! I couldn't help but smirk when I wrote the part about how Roy was right all along… such a smart boy Roy is! No, I'm not biased, what are you talking about:sweatdrop: heh heh Yeah, I would kill to see a Winry vs. Riza duel… Man, that would be funny. Wrench vs. Handgun. And Ed in the middle just going "wtf?" Lol, of course, food is always the answer:sighs: Wow, if only I could cook something other than toast, maybe I'd get more male-gender love… v.v I'll definitely take you (er… myself…) up on the idea of a Roy x Ed with a pet snake drabble! XD Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	17. Tales From a Desk Phone I

A/N: Wow. I am not sure where the idea for this one came up, but I'll tell you that this is a "serial" drabble. There are six parts to this drabble, if I remember correctly… so, with no further ado, enjoy part one! No pairings.

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**17. Tales From a Desk Phone I – Abuse and Suffering

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**

I keep trying to plead with him, plead with my master, but he never listens! He never hears my cries of pain! I'm starting to think no one can. No one ever listens to a telephone.

Day after day, night after night, I am beaten, strangled, spit on, then slammed down back to my cradle! I almost blacked out last night after my master rather violently threw me into the desk, completely missing the cradle. I think my arm or leg or something is broken…

I cringe whenever my master comes near. He is just so big and menacing; overpowering. I've seen the way others tremble before him; I am no different. Master Roy Mustang is a bad, bad man! I've seen the way he treats his paperwork… the poor papers, they must feel so abused. He uses words they should ever have to hear when speaking to them…

And the words he shouts at me – into me – are sometimes even more terrible. Once the angry words come, then I know it's about time for me to brace myself for another vicious fall into my cradle.

It hurts so bad! I can hardly move… And all I want to do is cry. I want to be moved into a different office. I want to leave the military! I didn't ask to be enlisted in it in the first place! I want to go to some nice person's home where I will be handled and treated with love, kindness, and respect. I don't want to be under Master Mustang's control!

I try to tell his friend Riza Hawkeye how evil Master Mustang is, but she can't hear me either. She does tell Master Mustang to calm down, but it does little to help my cause. Sweet words will not heal my injured back and injured soul.

Oh no… Master Mustang is coming… He's reaching out for me… Oh, oh God! He's dialing Ed's number! That can't mean anything good! AAAAAAUUUUUGGGH! OHHHH, IT HURTS! IT HURTS! AAAAHHHHHH!

I hate being a telephone…

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**MetalWing Alchemist**: Thanks! I got a thing for angst. n.n As for what I came up with next… heh. What did you think of this one:sweatdrop: I've done weirder though… :looks at Drabble 37 (not posted yet, obviously) and winces: Heh heh. Thanks for the review!

**Fading Wind**: Really? That was one of your favorites? Cool. :) I'm fond of it too. Thanks for the review!

**TheBlondeWriter**: That's okay. I know suicide, for one, thing, is… bad… and also in the fanfic world, it's a way overdone theme. I don't have very many "suicide drabbles". I know I have at least one more, though… / Sorry! Anyway, I live… farther north than Florida (not telling where though, that's nobody's business), but it's hotter than hell this summer… T.T As for Havoc drabbles, I do have a few others in my archive… not many, but I know Drabble 26 is a Havoc x ? pairing, and Drabble 33 is a Havoc one… and wow. I think that's about it. I really should write some more… Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	18. Roy x Riza: Sprain

A/N: This is another one of my favorites! n.n Read and review!

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**18. Roy x Riza – Sprain**

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"Sir? Can I get you anything?"

Roy moaned on the couch in his room, making as big a scene as he could when Riza Hawkeye walked in. He was dressed down, not wearing his usual military uniform and in his PJs. Ever since he had sprained his wrist, he hadn't bothered to show up for work or even get dressed properly. He preferred to lie on his comfortable couch and mooch off anyone who dared enter his room to pity him.

He liked it best when Riza came in. It was all her fault he sprained his wrist in the first place, and he liked reminding her of that. "Riza, come here," Roy said as Riza flicked the light on. She softly strode over to him on the couch and put her hand on his cheek. "Yes, sir?"

_Don't call me sir when I'm not even working…_ Roy inwardly groaned. _I may be your superior, but I'm your friend, too, right? Call me Roy, damn it…_ Instead, he said, "I'd touch you, Riza, but my wrist… I'm in pain…" He closed his eyes and put on his most pathetic grimace, hoping he looked brave rather than stupid.

"I'm so sorry!" cried Riza, her hand trailing down to Roy's shoulder and giving it a squeeze. "This is all my fault…"

"That's right," coughed Roy pitiably. "If you hadn't made me do so much paperwork, this wouldn't have happened… Oh, it hurts just thinking about paperwork!" He gripped his injured wrist and moaned loudly. Riza leaned closer to Roy's face, the two now touching cheeks. Roy inhaled deeply and could smell her shampoo. He loved her shampoo.

"I'm sorry," Riza apologized again. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better, sir?"

Roy paused for a moment, pondering about how he should word his plea. He appeared to be reluctant, as if he didn't want to ask too much of Riza when inside he was dying to have just this one thing… Just one thing…

"Yeah," he said after a while. "Will you… kiss me?"

Riza smiled. "Yes… Roy."

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**TheBlondeWriter**: Thanks! Yeah, I love random object personification too! n.n Althought I did kind of steal the idea off an American Idol forum that was like an RPG, and they did it with the microphone stand… but hey, my idea's better! lol Che, I know what you mean about getting enough suicide crap at school. Well, for me it's not school, but I have a lot of Internet friends, and every now and then one of them gets depressed and freaks the hell out of me, so yeah. But I'm so sorry I don't have very many Havoc-ish drabbles! I will definitely write more though whenever I get the inspiration. Thanks for the review!

**Kari Williams**:sniggers: Yep, poor, poor telephone… I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the review!

**MetalWing Alchemist**: Angst and humor are my two favorite genres… wait… no, they aren't. Well, no, actually, they're my favorite to READ but my favorite to write are drama and romance. n.n I'd like to read your little stories, but I don't give out my e-mail address online. If you have AIM, you can IM me; I'm RoychansMuffin. n.n Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked the drabble!

**Mint Pizza Queen**: Thank you! I'm quite fond of the "Tales From a Desk Phone" series too if I don't say so myself… Not very often do I write from the POV of inanimate objects! XD Thanks for the review!

**Fading Wind**:D Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! And I hope you enjoy the next installment of the series, which will be posted up… sometime soon. o.o Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	19. Riza x Ed: Milk

A/N: I was going to do a Gluttony x Food one (idea courtesy of Mint Pizza Queen), but my writing muse kind of… died… after about 5:00 this evening – actually since AnimeSpiral's server died… it took my muse with it. T.T – so here is the next one I originally had in stock. Riza x Ed! Yay:D Please review!

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**19. Riza x Ed – Milk

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**

Riza came back from the bathroom and noticed that there was something weird about table in her dining room. It wasn't the fact that Ed was sitting there, watching her. No, that was normal. Ed had been having dinner at her house for the past week and half. It also wasn't the fact that Ed's mail was now being forwarded to her and was littering half of the table. Nope. Neither Ed nor his mail was odd.

She couldn't put her finger on it. _What was different…?_ It thoroughly confused her. It was nothing about Ed, that much she could tell. Ed was sitting, feet just barely touching the floor, smiling as usual. Riza had made spaghetti for dinner; she knew Ed loved spaghetti. His plate was cleared away, and he was now working on a large piece of chocolate cake. Nothing weird about that… Ed was always eating her junk food.

Was it the lighting? Did her light bulb burn out? No, the lights were okay. Ed had yet to break those, though he had already broken just about everything else.

_Then what is it?_ Riza asked herself, frowning in frustration. She just knew it was going to be one of those things that wouldn't leave her alone, and she'd lose sleep because of it. _What is wrong with the damn table…?_

Even later, around two o'clock in the morning, while Ed was fast asleep at her side, Riza couldn't think of what was wrong. She tossed and turned and vaguely wondered how in the world Ed was able to sleep with all of her movement.

Another hour passed and _finally_ she figured it out.

Excitedly, she shook Ed awake, hissing in his ear and demanding that he wake up. "Ed! Ed! Get up! I figured it out!"

Sleepily, Ed opened his eyes and stared at Riza, scratching his head and yawning. "What? Isn't it early…?"

Riza grinned, too happy to care how early it was. She had finally figured out what was different about her dinner table, and she wanted to share that news with Ed. After all, it concerned him.

"Ed!" she cried. "You drank all your milk!"

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**Too f-ing lazy to type reviewer responses -.- Next time, 'kay?

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--crazykitsune17--


	20. Gluttony x Food: Donut

A/N: This idea was provided by Mint Pizza Queen. :D Thank you, MPQ! Enjoy the drabble as much as you possibly can… o.o

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**20. Gluttony x Food - Donut

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It's disgusting, the way he eats. The big oaf has probably never heard of a fork and spoon, and even if he did, why would he bother using them when he could just shove his food – his_ prey_ - into his mouth whole?

Today he ate a couple of twelve-year-old boys unfortunate enough to stumble into his "pit-covered-with-leaves" trap. He sets that trap just for that purpose. He calls it his "feeding the hungry donations box". If he were to ever be full, he'd need a gigantic landfill filled to the brim with people and other foodstuffs; Gluttony is always hungry.

When I forbade him from devouring a woman's body earlier this afternoon, he then tried to eat Envy. Envy knocked him out, but when he awoke, his stomach was growling so obnoxiously and loudly, and Gluttony's gluttony was becoming ravenous. So I ended up feeding him a donut.

He hasn't stopped nuzzling that donut yet. It's 8:30 at night; I gave him that donut at 4:05.

This is just sick. I gave that donut to him to eat. Despite his namesake, he doesn't seem to want to eat that thing. He has powdered sugar and frosting all over his face, hands, and neck now…

"Be mine forever," he whispers to the donut. "Be my sticky, gooey, sugary, delicious slave of love…"

I left the room shortly after that. But I swear I heard the donut moan in reply…

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**MetalWing Alchemist**: Thanks! Of course Riza and Ed make a good pairing! Just about anybody x Ed makes a good pairing to me… Same with Roy. Everybody goes with Roy… XDD Thanks for the review!

**Fading wind**: I'm glad you liked that sentence. I just think it would be so like Ed to break everything in Riza's house. He is a bit… er… reckless and clumsy, yes? n.n Oh well, the upside to that is that Ed's an alchemist and can fix everything he breaks. :D And if you want to know, in my opinion, why Ed drank his milk, it's because Riza always nagged on him for it, and then finally, one day, out of his TRUE LOVE for her, he drinks it. And that's my version of why he did it, but you're welcome to come up with whatever reason you like! Thanks for the review!

**Kari Williams**: It's amazing what the love of a first lieutenant will do to our dearest Edo-kun. Thanks for the review!

**Raging Inferno**: Why, thank you! n.n Glad you liked it. Well, ya know, love does things to people… Ed + love drunk milk, I guess… Oo Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	21. Tales From a Desk Phone II

A/N: Hee hee hee hee hee is all I can say here. :) Please review! Continuation of Drabble "Tales From a Desk Phone I: Abuse and Suffering"!

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**21. Tales From a Desk Phone II: True Love

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**

You know, with each passing day, I grow steadily more tired and sick of waiting to finally be free. It's never going to happen. Master Mustang uses me too much to just let me go. His paperwork hasn't been faring much better. One time, he even started to crumple it up and chuck it at the wall in a violent, angry rage! It looked so painful! I immediately felt bad for lamenting my own battered condition; the paperwork obviously has it so much worse.

I tried to send out a message of consoloation to that forlorn piece of crumpled up paperwork, but I'm not sure if she heard me. I wanted so badly just to reach out and touch her, calm her, comfort her, tell her everything's going to be okay. Not like she'd believe me. I don't believe things will _ever_ be okay in Master Mustang's office. Even Miss Hawkeye is not safe here! I see what he sketches on the backs of his paperwork… naughty sketches… Evil, bad, _terrible _sketches of things too ghastly to talk about!

I can't wait until Master Mustang gets a call from the Fuhrer. Mr. Bradley is my only hope. Perhaps I can tell the Fuhrer of Master Mustang's atrocities and get him fired! Then maybe all misery and strife will end for me and for my fellow paperwork comrades!

But alas, that is not going to happen anytime soon. Even if the Fuhrer does call, I cannot get any words out to him because Master Mustang is too busy babbling and yelling into the phone to let me speak. Then he slams me down and scribbles all over his paperwork, defiling their beautiful, pristine white skin with ugly, inky black splotches. It's terrible to see something so lovely get ruined by the carelessness of an evil master.

That crumpled-up piece of paperwork in the corner and I are going to escape someday. I really think that we would be good together. I can see it in her eyes that she loathes Master Mustang just as much as I do. If I could only reach her… if I could only touch her heart in ways I could never touch my own… We could be a team! We could overthrow the evil Master Mustang and run off together to save more innocent lives of desk phones and paperwork all over the world!

But I cannot move. I am only a desk phone, after all, stagnant and still until Master Mustang picks up again… OH GOD, NO, NOT ED AGAIN! AAAHHH! YOU ALREADY CALLED HIM YESTERDAY, WHY DO YOU NEED TO DO IT AGAIN? OW, STOP! YOU'RE STRANGLING ME! OH, THE PAIN! THE BRUTALITY!

I think I have blacked out…

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**Blackrose Kitsune**: Why a donut? Umm… I really have no idea. Now that I think about it, an ear of corn would've gone better with Gluttony… o.O; That was just the first thing that popped into my head. n.n Heh, thanks for the review!

**MetalWing Alchemist**: … I think there should be a band called the Moaning Donuts… That sounds like a band name to me… XD Anyway, I'm glad you liked the last drabble! I can't think of a single person who Ed and Roy DON'T go with… Well, I'm sure if I thought harder, I'd find somebody, but hell, in my twisted brain, they even look okay with _Pinako_. And Pinako scares me… Ever since I read an Armstrong x Pianko genderswitch fic, I have been deathly afraid of that old lady… O.o; Thanks for the review!

**TheBlondeWriter**: "mDonuts." – ditto. Augh, I haven't had a donut in a long time… :pouts: Now I want one… Thanks for the review!

**inu's gothic ravyn**: Yep. Everybody loves donuts, especially Gluttony! XD And of course I shall update – this thing has gone daily now. 8) Thanks for the review!

**Kiyuu-Chan**:sweatdrop: I'm sorry for forever marring your outlook on donuts! And, sure, I'll try and write up a Ross x Brosh one, but it'll be a while until it's posted, since I already have 48 of the 50 I'm putting in this fic written up. But yeah, Ross x Brosh is one pairing I haven't really done, even though I support it. o.o Thanks for the review!

**Valen aka Backstreet**: VALEN-SAMA:glomps: I didn't know you had an account here! Yeah, wow, I've been so bummed since AS is down… I hope they get the $$$ soon or else I'm gonna go crazy:head explodes: Anyway, heh, glad you enjoyed… well… DID you enjoy it:-P Ah, whatever! Thanks for the review!

**Mint Pizza Queen**:D This was all your idea. I'm so glad you let me borrow it… :giggles with you: I liked the last line too. Thanks for the review!

**Fading wind**: Well, thank you! Glad I could provide entertainment for the day. :) And you're welcome for the review. I've never ridden a train before… o.o Woooow, is it fun? n.n lol Anyway, thanks for the review!

**tsukiraven**: No prob. Yeah, you're a new author, aren't you? So you're welcome! And thanks for adding me to your faves! I feel so loved:) Thanks for the review!

**Kari Williams**: Yes, but the eating has been replaced by nuzzling and other immoral acts with an inanimate object… so it's almost the same thing. XP Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	22. Riza x Ross: Hurt

A/N: YUUUUURIIIIIII:D :D :D Funny thing, I thought of this one in church a while ago… Most of my thoughts in church run along the lines of yaoi or yuri… O.o;; hee hee. Please review!

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**22. Riza x Ross – Hurt

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**

I hated it when she talked to Mustang. Sargeant Brosh keeps trying to tell me that they're a "match made in heaven", but I don't believe it. Roy is disgusting. He's lazy, immature, and he can't do his own paperwork without being held at gunpoint. I honestly don't know what Riza Hawkeye sees in him.

It's awful, really, what that girl has to go through just to get his attention. No matter what Sargeant Brosh says about them having wedding plans (I want to kill him when he says that!), the colonel just isn't interested. Too many times I've passed by Riza's half-open office door and heard her crying.

I want to comfort her and try to steer her away of a life of misery and degradation, but I always falter, my hand wavering in front of her doorknob then rather spinelessly lowering back down to my side again as I walk away.

I'm a coward. I know that. I can serve in the military and fulfill my missions dutifully and without hesitation, but I cannot admit to one woman that I love her.

She's crying again. As I slowly pass by her door, I can hear her. Vaguely, I wonder what Roy Mustang did to her this time, and I find myself wishing that she would just stop fooling herself into believing that he could ever love her and live a good life, a happy life, with me.

"She's quite the drama queen, eh?" Denny Brosh nudged me in the ribs, grinning. I turned to look at him, my own eyes sad and teary. I shook my head. "Sargeant, those are real tears of a sad woman," I told him. "She's been hurt too many times to even think of faking it."

Brosh gave me a look. He didn't understand. No one would. I sighed, feeling weak and guilty as I walked away from Riza's office and made my way home.

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**Mint Pizza Queen**: XD I love the inanimate object plot too. Lmao, dish and spoon, phone and paperwork, 'tis all the same… Now I have this mental image of the phone and the paperwork riding on a cow jumping over the moon… u.u Thanks for the review!

**Fading wind**:D I'm glad you like these drabbles! I thought, ya know, when I started this, that it wouldn't be popular 'cuz there's so many other drabblefics out there, but I think I'm doing okay. Yay for me, huh? Heh. I still want to ride a train though… And a subway. I've only ridden a subway once, and it wasn't even a subway, it was a shuttle bus, and the track went for about a mile and that was it. It didn't help that I was riding the shuttle to go to the hospital and get surgery done… O.o Anyway, thanks for the review!

**MetalWing Alchemist**: Yep… :snigger: poor phone… Poor, poor phone… hee hee. Oh, poor you, you have seen the horrors of Armstrong x Pinako! I'll never look at Armstrong the same way again…. T.T Or Pinako. Then again, I never trusted that old lady… heh Thanks for the review!

**Blackrose Kitsune**: Hey, desk phones have stories that need to be told too. :-P Thanks for the review!

**Valen aka Backstreet**: Hey now, don't be giving away any spoilers here:) Not that you would, hee hee. Anyway, ya know what, I was reading this magazine today, and it had Nick Carter in it, and I gotta say, I'm not much of a BSB fan, but he's gotten pretty hot… I thought of you, though, when I saw the picture. :-P Later, Valen-sama!

**TheBlondeWriter**: Desk phone x paperwork – scandalous indeed! Somebody needs to alert the National Enquirer… :gossip gossip: Lol, and no problem, the word "naughty" sends me into giggle-fits too… just the words "panties", "scrotum", "jiggly", and "grope". :sweatdrop: Thanks for the review!

**inu's gothic ravyn**: Hey, what you're saying is basically logic. If cruelty to phones is a crime, and Roy is cruel to phones, therefore, Roy is committing a crime. Logical logicness! XD Thanks for the review!

**Kari Williams**:smirk: How did you know a pairing was in the making? Psychic one, you are… :-P Lol, thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	23. Roy x Fuery: My Bitch

A/N:points to drabble: This one makes me have to bump up my rating to T… But I thought of it while stepping in dog poop at my grandma's house, sooo… eh… review, please!

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**23. Roy x Fuery – My Bitch

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**

"Fuery, please come into my office," Roy Mustang said suavely as he pulled aside the small, bespectacled man early one morning. "I need to speak with you."

Kain Fuery put down his papers and stuttered, "Y-yes, sir!" _What could Mustang want with me? I hope I'm not in trouble… _he worried, looking somewhat apprehensive as Roy all but dragged him into his office.

"Have a seat." Fuery obeyed, feeling slightly nervous. Roy didn't say anything for a moment; he just stared Fuery in the face, chestnut eyes conveying no discernible emotion. Fuery started to fidget with the cuffs on his uniform…

Finally, Roy began digging in the top drawer of his desk, making what Fuery thought was a lot of unnecessary noise as he tried to find what he was looking for. At last, Roy seemed to find what he needed because Fuery saw what might have been called a grin then spread across Roy's face.

He held up the object, and Fuery saw that it was a dangling red leash. Fuery tilted his head. _Did he get me a puppy?_ Fuery thought rather hopefully. He began smiling himself, thinking of all the happiness a puppy would bring him. He stopped smiling when the leash was then slipped around his neck and he was forced on the ground by Roy's heavy boot pushing him down off the chair.

"C-Colonel Mustang!" Fuery yelped, his glasses coming askew. "What the—?"

Roy continued grinning in that awkward way of his. "You like dogs, right, Fuery?" he asked, a touch of insanity lacing his throaty voice. "How'd you like to be my bitch?"

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**Fading Wind**: I think that the Riza x Ross pairing is the only yuri I could like in FMA… Winry x Scieszka? O.o :twitch: Wow… talk about one annoying pairing. Two highly different obsessions… books and wrenches… lol Thanks for the review!

**Blackrose Kitsune**: No, she doesn't… Hmm… oh well. It's a crappy drabble, so what the hell. :sweatdrop: Thanks for the review!

**Valen aka Backstreet**: n.n I know, I'm partial to Riza x Ross… maybe because I love Ross… she's so cool… :D And the magazine I was looking at was J-14 (the one I spent the last of my money on renewing the subscription… o.o). Ha ha, thanks for the review!

**inu's gothic ravyn**: Yay! I have showneth thee a new pairing! Ah, that makes me happy when I do that… 'Cuz I get all "NOOOO!" when someone comes up with a new pairing before I do… lol Anyway, glad ya liked it. Thanks for the review!

**Kiete**: I swear I'm CK. If by "OOC", you mean I'm acting a bit more mellow, that's true because I don't think FFN is ready for the ultimate horror that is CK. 8) In my early AS days, I was a little more laid back and not as wild as well. Hah, yes, us with the scary FFN accounts… o.o FFN is scary… They don't allow my risque hentai! T.T hee hee. Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	24. Roy x Hughes: Ghost

A/N: This is shonen ai at most! I don't like messing with Hughes in pairings since he's kinda… married… but I love Roy x Hughes as much as the next person, and this idea wouldn't leave me alone! This is in 2 parts; the second part is chapter… 28 or something. I dunno. Please read and review!

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**24. Roy x Hughes – Ghost

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**

A sudden chill swept over Roy's bedroom late one night at around twelve o'clock. Mustang was sleeping with his mouth hanging open, drooling slightly and grumbling in his sleep – the usual grumbles of an over-stressed military colonel: "Damn that FullMetal… snort… I hate Mondays… fuuuuuuckkk..."

The drool on his pillow quickly turned to ice, however, when a sudden, eerie presence of a man Roy once knew materialized in the freezing room. Roy shivered and tugged the covers further up his shoulder, teeth slightly chattering. The ghostly form in front of the sleeping colonel reached out a translucent finger and traced the man's cheek, outlining his face down to his skull.

The colonel reacted, withdrawing quickly as if he'd been zapped by static electricity. His face now felt cold as ice, and slowly, he opened his eyes, wondering why the hell it was so cold in his room.

Almost shouting out loud with shock, Roy bolted upright as quickly as he could, scrambling up against his stack of pillows. His eyes were wide; he couldn't believe it – Maes Hughes was crouching right in front of him!

But this Hughes was different. He was paler, less fleshy, almost transparent; he was a ghost. Roy, teeth still chattering, continued to stare in disbelief at the apparition kneeling at his bedside. "M-Maes…" he whispered, wisps of smoky mist passing his lips as he spoke.

Maes Hughes smiled. "Roy," he said, his voice distant and echoing. "I came back to tell you something."

Roy's breath caught in his throat, and he felt strangled. As much as he hated to admit it, he was scared. He had never seen a ghost before! He didn't even think they existed! But here was Hughes, in the semi-flesh, speaking to him.

"Roy… please… do something for me…" Hughes's voice was becoming distorted, more distant, like he was a radio fading in and out of focus. Roy strained his ears to hear him, but soon, the brigadier general was muted. No sound was heard, and just as suddenly as he came, Maes Hughes was gone.

Roy woke up the next morning, still deathly cold and unable to warm up. He walked into the office shivering, wondering… Hughes… _What did you want from me…? What did you want…?

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**Fading wind **:sweatdrop: Sorry if I scared you… That was one of the only "naughtier" drabbles I have in this collection… And if you do get nightmares, just think of Roy and Ed and it'll all be better. :D Or worse, depending on… ah, never mind! I don't want to scare you even more! o.o Anyway, um, thanks for the review!

**Valen aka Backstreet**: I bet you a million bucks you aren't as corrupted as I am… Damn those hot dogs… damn them all… :shudders: Aaaaanyway… Now that AnimeSpiral's back up, I have the new drabbles ready to be posted there. Drabble #44 is up if you haven't seen it already. Thanks for the review!

**Blackrose Kitsune: **:pities Fuery-chan with you: Poor guy… so unknowing of the horror that is Roy… XDD Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	25. Hughes x Riza: Pictures

A/N: This drabble was dedicated to Valen-sama on AnimeSpiral (known as Valen aka Backstreet here), and it's still dedicated to her! Eh… read and review! Okay, so this really isn't Hughes x Riza, but I really like that "x", so… ya know… whatever.

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**25. Hughes x Riza – Pictures

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**

"And this is Elysia raking the leaves with her cute little toy rake… And this is Elysia dancing to the radio… And this is Elysia tying her shoes! Look! She's so good at tying shoes! Isn't she just great?"

Maes Hughes smiled, showing Roy Mustang his collection of that weekend's pictures. He had a whole pile of photographs still on his desk, waiting to be shown. Excitedly, Hughes pocketed one set of pictures and proceeded to spill out another set's contents all over the desktop.

Roy looked less than pleased. His chin was in his hand, his fingers drumming the tiny piece of desk surface that wasn't covered by Hughes's photos. He wasn't even really looking at the pictures. He had seen Elysia a hundred times in Hughes's photo albums, and she looked the same in each picture – cute and adorable. There would be nothing different about these twelve-thousand other photos…

But one snapshot caught his eyes. It was hidden beneath five pictures of Elysia grinning crazily and waving at the camera, but it was there – a picture of Riza Hawkeye.

Picking it up carefully with his gloved hand, Roy held the picture up and stared at it while Hughes babbled on and on about another picture of his daughter doing something cute.

"Maes, what is this?"

Roy held up the picture. It was Hughes and Hawkeye, smiling as they kissed in front of the camera. An automail finger that looked suspiciously like Ed's had been covering the lens and appeared up in the picture's right-hand corner, showing that it was he who took the picture.

Hughes stopped his speech and looked up at the photograph. Grinning, he looked Roy in the eye and said, "If you don't get yourself a wife soon, Roy, there are gonna be people who are more than willing to take your girl right out from under your nose." He pushed the picture back into Roy's hand. "You keep that in mind before she walks away." Leaning forward, he whispered, " 'Cuz you know, Riza's pretty hot." He winked and walked away, scooping up his Elysia pictures and leaving Roy fuming over the picture of Riza.

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A/N: And before anybody starts flaming me, yes, that was a setup, and no, Hughes is not cheating on his wife. Thank you.

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**Fading wind**: Whew, well I'm glad I didn't cause you nightmares… Wish I could say the same for myself… :glares at a certain somebody we'll call Catie… grr…: She is the cause of it all! SHE IS EVIL! EVIL, I TELL YOU! Buuuut anyyywaaaay… Thanks for the review!

**Valen aka Backstreet**: Lol, my dirty, corrupted mind comes from my friend Mary. It's all her fault. She and her damn hot dogs… She circumsized the goddamn wiener at the lunch table (this was back in 6th grade, after our Bible lesson on circumcision… yes, we did have those… Ha ha, what a wholesome Catholic school I attended! XD) and from that point on, I was a dirty… corrupted… thing. O.o Anyway, thanks for the review (and thanks for the reviews on AS :D )

**Blackrose Kitsune**: Yep. I enjoy making people wait, so… heh… well, the "sequel" to the last drabble will be coming up. So you think you know what Hughes was gonna tell Roy-chan? Hmm, I don't know about that. Unless you are psychic. Which wouldn't surprise me because a lot of my fanfic readers are smart… o.o Anyway, thanks for the review!

**Miss DarkRose**: You'll find out what Hughes was trying to say… later. :) Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	26. Tales From a Desk Phone III

A/N: Yet another drabble from our pal the desk phone! Please review!

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**26. Tales From a Desk Phone III – Freedom?

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**

It was the dead of night when she came, dressed in all black with a mask hiding her delicate face. Even in the absence of the light, I knew who it was. I knew who had come to save me.

She had a bag in one hand - dark-colored soft cloth. Cushiony. It made no noise as she manuevered through the empty office.

I watched and waited with bated breath, holding Miss Paperwork – her name was Penelope, I soon learned – close underneath my receiver. I remember whispering, "There's nothing to be worried about, Penelope. This is not Master Mustang…"

The woman who was not Master Mustang then knelt down in front of us and stared at us with her beautiful amber eyes so full of love. I smiled, and she smiled back, reaching out a gloved hand and gently caressing my spine. Her touch sent shivers throughout my entire body, and I arched back, gasping. Such a soft caress… so much unlike Master Mustang's… I felt safe in this woman's hands.

"I'm going to get you out of here," she whispered to me as she picked me up, gently tearing the wires from the wall, and placed me into the soft, cushiony bag. Penelope tumbled in after me, and I caught her in my waiting arms. Both of us were speechless. Was this really happening? Were we really being saved? Was this the end of all the torment Master Mustang has put us both through? Was this finally the beginning of the long road to recovery?

Riza Hawkeye cinched the bag shut, enshrouding us in pitch darkness. Her shoes made no sound as she exited the office and walked along the empty, deserted hallway, leading us discreetly to our longed-for freedom. I could smell it: the open, night air, fresh and crisp and lightly scented like daffodils.

And she pushed open the door, about to welcome us into the real world at last…

We dropped, clattering to the ground.

Master Mustang was standing right in front of us.

We were doomed.

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**Fading wind**: Oh God, I hate to see how scared you get when Drabble… 37, I think, comes up… o.o hee hee hee. But anyway, I'm glad you liked the last one. Whew, yay. Thanks for the review!

**Blackrose Kitsune**: Heh, well, that's one less flame I have to worry about. n.n Hmm, I'd make a part 2, but all of the drabbles in this series are already pre-written (I have all 50 done out already, and I've started its "sequel" on my computer). T.T But I'll think about doing something like that for my next series of drabbles! Thank you very much for the review!

**Valen aka Backstreet**: Yup! Heh heh, I like that "close one eye and squint the other". Hell, it could even be considered… Roy x Ed if you look at it! Wait, no… that's not right. No Roy x Ed in there. T.T Anyway, thanks for the review, Valen-sama!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	27. Havoc x Riza: Too Much Pleasure

A/N: I like this one. This is more of a poem than a drabble, but… what the heck. It's going here anyway! Enjoy:D Don't forget to review!

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**27. Havoc x Riza – Too Much Pleasure**

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Cigarettes pile up. One on top of another. Ash litters the desk.

A drag. A puff. Smoke circle.

Heels on the floor. Clack. Clack.

Bare leg.

Nice.

Choke on smoke. Too much pleasure.

Riza Hawkeye. Heart stops.

Cigarette is finished. Another one lights.

Lost in happiness.

Fuhrer Roy Mustang has finally instituted his new dress code. All ladies wear miniskirts.

Thank you, Roy.

Cigarettes and Riza Hawkeye in a miniskirt.

Definitely too much pleasure.

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**Blackrose Kitsune**: I actually have six total "Tales From a Desk Phone" drabbles (so there's 3 more to go!). Yay for doom! XP Thanks for the review!

**MetalWing Alchemist**: I love it when Riza has to come to the rescue. That's my favorite facet of her, the Take-Charge-and-Kick-Ass!Riza. :D :sigh: u.u Mm-hmm, yep, stupid Roy, ruining the fun… heh. Thanks for the review!

**Valen aka Backstreet**: Oh, Valen-sama, they'll find out soon enough… :stifles back giggles: It's like… woah, we share this totally awesome secret… hee hee. Anyway, the reunion was all right. Boring… good food, though. I had like three brownies… oh man, don't get me started on the brownies. Holy crap. Mmmm… brownies… n.n But yeah, a couple of my cousins couldn't make it, two of mine brought their girlfriends (that are so much prettier and skinnier than me… :sigh: ), and everybody BS-ed with each other. Fun fun fun. v.v Thanks for the review!

**TheBlondeWriter**: Well, I'll answer your last question since the other two I can't really answer without spoiling anything, but to answer "More to the point, how is it that paperwork can be named Penelope?" umm… I really don't know. I guess I could chalk it up to "over-personification". Or you can just call me insane and go with that. Whatever works for you. :-P But the desk phone has a name too, but no one knows it yet. I don't reveal its name until the sixth and final part. Thanks for the review!

**Miss DarkRose**: Thanks for the review! I update daily. :)

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	28. Roy x Hughes: Happy

A/N: Heeeey, lookie here, it's Part Two to Drabble #25: "Ghost". READ! NOW! And review. :)

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**28. Roy x Hughes – Happy

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**

It was sunny outside, nearly eighty degrees, and Roy was shivering. Two weeks had passed since the colonel had seen the ghost of Maes Hughes at his bedside. Two weeks since the brigadier general had touched his cheek, spoke to him, asked a favor he was unable to finish. Two weeks Roy had suffered from constant chills, never being able to warm up no matter how many sweaters or blankets he had tossed around his shoulders. And it bothered him. The colonel hated being uncomfortable.

He was standing underneath a tree, looking out at Central City in all its dismal glory. He was frowning, thinking of Hughes. And that unfinished favor. _"Roy… please… do something for me…"_ Maes had said. Roy had chewed over the possibilities in his mind a hundred times, no, a _thousand_ times, yet he _still_ couldn't figure out what exactly Hughes wanted him to do. And it bothered him. The colonel hated not having answers.

Frowning, Roy shoved his knuckles into the gnarled tree, feeling the acute pain that accompained the rough bark's sharp scratches. The gloves offered some protection, yes, shielding his perfect hands from a terrible fate of being marred by whitish-red scrapes. That didn't bother him. The colonel liked his hands in perfect condition.

Suddenly, an unbearable freeze came over the colonel; he tugged his jacket as tightly as it would go around his shoulders, but he still felt his skin prickle terrifyingly in goosebumps, felt the hair all over his neck and arms rise, felt his lips turn from soft red to blue. It was that presence, Hughes's presence. And he wasn't sure if that bothered him or not. But the colonel hated being indecisive; he decided it didn't bother him.

"Roy," a familiar voice whispered.

The form of Maes Hughes was sitting in the tree, legs crossed comfortably, back leaning against the strong trunk. He smiled. Roy tried to smile back, but his lips were too frozen to move. Maes didn't seem to notice, so he went on.

"I never did finish asking you my favor," he said calmly, his voice carried with the frigid breeze. "Roy… Do me this one thing."

Roy looked up, brown eyes round and expectant. He revered the man in front of him, clung to every word his now-superior said. Hughes's smile seemed to relax into a more placid position, and he whispered, "Cheer up, Roy. That's all I want you to do. Be happy again. You _can_ be happy, Roy, even without me here. Promise me that. Promise me that you will be happy."

A warm heat flooded Roy, and he felt comfortable again. A smile spread across his face. And it didn't bother him. The colonel liked being happy.

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**

**MetalWing Alchemist**: Ya know, on the note of Riza, I think she should have her own theme music. Like something Superman-esque, and she can have this awesome background and wear a cape and save Roy's butt whenever he gets in trouble. That would make an awesome spin-off show. And then, at the end of every episode, the narrator guy would be like, all deep-voiced and say, "And Roy is saved… thanks to… Riza Hawkeye!" And then a cheesy ending song would play and all the little kiddies would CLAP… and… wow. I'm getting way ahead of myself. :sweatdrop: Anyway, glad you liked the drabble! Thanks for the review!

**Blackrose Kitsune**: Lol, "FullMetal vs. Flame" is one of my favorite episodes… next to umm… "The Ishbal Massacre" and um… that one where Ed is fighting those two brothers in Lab 5 and Barry the Chopper is feeding Al loads of BS. Yeah. I liked that episode. But anyway, hah, Roy's miniskirt speech has to be one of the best lines… ever. Glad ya liked the drabble! Thanks for the review!

**Miss DarkRose**: And when Havoc's happy (Fuery's happy XD), we're all happy. Thanks for the review:)

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	29. Roy x Riza: Good Night

A/N: Just a fluffy Royai drabble… Not one of my better ones, but something to read. And for some reason, the title reminds me of those "Good Nites" things, ya know, the underwear kids wear to bed so they can pee in 'em and not be embarrassed? Lol, wow, that just puts a totally new viewpoint on this drabble... I'll never be able to look at it the same again::twitch: Please review!

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**29. Roy x Riza – Good Night

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**

"Sir, it's getting late—oh."

Riza stepped into the colonel's office to say good-night, but the colonel was already far ahead of her. He was snoozing on his desk, his head resting on his military jacket like a pillow. The lights were off, and Riza didn't dare turn them on, lest she disturb her favorite colonel.

For a moment, she stood in the doorway, not really wanting to leave. She just watched the colonel's back rise up and down with his steady breathing… watched his little mouth widen with each intake of breath. She smiled. He looked absolutely harmless – not the evil brute that FullMetal made him out to be.

Striding further into the office, Riza continued watching over Roy, her overcoat swishing as she rounded the desk's corner. Gently, cautiously, she bent down to brush a small lock of hair from his face, but his silky bangs just fell right back into place. Riza couldn't help but smile; his hair was as stubborn as he was.

Feeling a sudden, motherly urge come over her, Riza removed her own military jacket and draped it over the rising and falling shoulders of the man in front of her. She smiled, her blue uniform wrapped neatly around Roy's shoulders like a blanket. _There…_ she thought to herself, still smiling serenely.

She bent down to kiss him. "Good-night, colonel," she whispered, closing the office door behind her.

In his sleep, Roy smiled.

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**Valen aka Backstreet**: Aww, thanks a lot, now that song is in my head… Don't worry…be happy… yada yada ya… :twitch: But yeah, you're right. The title totally doomed us all. o.o Thanks for the review!

**Blackrose Kitsune**: Yeah, well, I was originally going to have it be like a pairing kinda thing at the end, ya know, Maes confessing his undying love for Roy, but… no. Ha ha. Maybe someday I'll do a drabble like that… :smirk: Thanks for the review!

**Miss Darkrose**: Well, now you found out, and everybody's happy… 'specially Roy, ne? Thanks for the review!

**MetalWing Alchemist**: No way, PPG is cool. I haven't seen it in a while, but I do gotta say their movie sucked big time… heh heh. I like the retro PPG from the late 90's… like, back when I was a kid… :goes off on a "When I was your age…" tangent… even though you're older than me… o.o: But, chyeah! Riza could borrow Armstrong's sparkles and use them for her backgrounds! XD Yeah, I liked the idea of Maes coming back just to tell Roy to cheer his angsty little bum up. :pets Maes: Good boy, yes you are… n.n Anyway, thanks for the review:)

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	30. Roy x Kagome: Prototype

A/N: Okay, I struck a deal with a buddy of mine, and in exchange for writing a Roy x Kagome drabble, he'd write me an Inu x Sess drabble. That's why I did this. :twitch: And I'm never doing it again unless somebody gives me something REALLY good… :glares: Roy-chan is MINE to manipulate, not Kagome's… Grrr… Anyway, this is a crossover drabble, obviously, featuring Kagome from Inuyasha! And despite me loathing the pairing, this is my longest drabble EVER, measuring in at about 530-some words. I don't even think that's considered a drabble. But we'll just pretend it is. Please read and review!

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**30. Roy x Kagome – Prototype

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**

Roy had an ingrained fear of wells. He wasn't sure why. Maybe it was the fact that anybody could jump down one and never be seen again. Maybe it was the fact that the insides of a well were all coated in gooey slime and dead bugs and who knows what else. Or maybe it was because wells had strange, mystical, time-traveling powers.

Whatever the case, Roy decided to try and overcome his fear by jumping down the well across the street from his house.

His fear of wells was immediately cured when he found himself looking into the eyes of a beautiful, raven-haired girl on the other side.

The girl, whose name was Kagome, blinked back at Roy, surprised as to how he came out of the well in her grandfather's shrine. She thought only Inuyasha could travel through the well!

Despite her shock, Kagome's hospitality kicked in and she helped Roy out of the well, grabbing his hand and tugging him out. Once safely out of the contraption, Roy inspected himself, checking to see if any well-slime had gotten on his clothes (none had), and then he turned to Kagome.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm… Kagome Higurashi," the girl said, smoothing back her fluffy black hair. She smiled sheepishly, embarrassed to noticed that a red flush was creeping into her cheeks. _What? Why…?_ she wondered, touching her crimson skin, but one more look at the man in front of her suddenly reminded her why she was blushing. _He's very handsome… even more so than Inuyasha!_

She felt slightly guilty for "bashing" Inuyasha, but it was only the truth. This man in front of her was stunning – coal-black hair, small, beautiful, piercing eyes… and a military uniform. Kagome couldn't possibly deny the saying "I love a man in uniform".

Again, she extended her hand, wanting badly to shake Roy's. She bet his hands felt like perfect silk.

They did. Except, they weren't hands, really… They were glove-covered hands, but nice all the same. Kagome noticed the array on his right glove and wondered vaguely what it was for. She looked up at Roy, her eyes expectant, but no answer came. Just his name.

"Roy Mustang."

Kagome's heart leapt up into her throat. Just his name was enough to send shivers up her spine. _What a sexy name! Augh, no! What am I thinking! This guy's probably old enough to be your_ dad She shook her head.

"Something wrong?" asked Roy concernedly.

"N-no! No!" stuttered Kagome. "J-just… um… wondering how you got here…" She trailed off, mumbling.

Roy scratched his chin, trying to think of a way to put it without sounding like a coward. "I was trying to conquer my fear of wells…" he could say, but no, that was stupid. He didn't want to seem like he had any fears because, in all honesty, he really didn't. At least none that he wanted to think about… Instead, he answered her, leaning down to touch the fabric on Kagome's school skirt (and a little more), "I was searching for a prototype for my new military uniform idea."

Kagome flushed purple. "SIT!" she yelled.

She wasn't sure if she was disappointed or not when Roy Mustang didn't fall down.

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**

**Valen aka Backstreet**: Really, that's one of your faves? Hmm, well, that's cool. I think it's a bit boring, but the mental image is cute. n.n And that's okay, Roy x Riza is my second favorite pairing nex to Roy x Ed… though Roy x Hughes is creeping up quite quickly (heh… oops, oxymoron "creeping quickly" oO) as a fave ever since I wrote that one-shot… :sweatdrop: Anyway, thanks for the review!

**Blackrose Kitsune**: No problem. I think the only thing you really CAN say about the last drabble was that it was "sweet" and "cutesy" – just basic fluff. Ah well. It was okay. Thanks very much for the review!

**MetalWing Alchemist**: Ya know, the weirdest thing was that the movie was actually on today. I turned on the TV during lunch, and THERE IT IS! The Powerpuff Girls movie! I was like, "Omfg!" I thought of you. heh. n.n Ah well, you'll be 15 soon enough… As will I, yippee, Dec. 2… gotta wait a while though… T.T I'm sick of being 14… I mean, it's a nice age and all, but… meh. Whatever. I'm rambling again, lol. But oooh, that's a good idea, making a drabble out of this PPG!Riza thing… I think I shall do that! But it'll be a while before it shows up. It'll be in the sequel series to this drabblefic, because I already have all 50 of them written out, plus about 5 or 6 in the sequel series. o.o But thanks very much for the review – and I'll relay the message to Hughes:)

--crazykitsune17--

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	31. Roy x Fuery: Coffee and a Kiss

A/N: Remember Drabble #23, "My Bitch"? Well, originally, I wanted that drabble to be nice and clean, sweet and cutesy and full of fluffles, but it ended up a bit… dirty and awry. So, to make up for it, here is the cleaner version of a Roy x Fuery pairing! n.n Hmm… I happen to have a lot of these "Roy falls asleep doing paperwork" drabbles… / Personal fetish:sweatdrop: Ah well. Review, please!

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**31. Roy x Fuery – Coffee and a Kiss

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**

Roy's eyelids felt heavy. A mess of words was swimming before his eyes, intermingling black on white… or white on black, he couldn't be sure. It was all just a boring, black and white ocean to him. His head bobbed dangerously low and threatened not to come back up. He was doing it again - falling asleep on his paperwork.

He started snoring when Kain Fuery walked in with a fresh load of new paperwork. The smaller man sighed and set the foot-high stack of papers on the colonel's desk and taking a seat across from him. This was at least the fourth time this week that he had walked in on Colonel Mustang sleeping.

Not like he minded. Fuery actually liked the colonel's sleeping face. It was so much calmer and nicer-looking than his usual tight-lipped frown. Fuery found himself lost in a rather girly fantasyland, his eyes glazing over and his lips curving into a dreamy smile as he gazed at Roy sleeping.

But Fuery learned something new tonight. Roy talked in his sleep.

"Fuery…" the colonel whispered breathily. "Fuery…" He was calling to him. Fuery gasped and held his breath, waiting to hear what Roy was going to say next. The dreamy side of him desperately hoped it would be a love confession.

Whether or not he was disappointed by Roy's next words, he wasn't exactly sure.

"Fuery… Fuery… get me… more coffee…"

Fuery's smile twisted. Oh well. It was a nice that Roy actually dreamt about him. That had to mean _something_, right? The grin returning, Fuery extricated himself from the chair, accidentally knocking over the stack of paperwork, and bustled off to obey his sleep-talking colonel.

Too bad he didn't stick around to hear what Roy had to say next.

"And a kiss too, Fuery…"

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A/N: There now, that wasn't so dirty this time! XP Please review!

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**TheBlondeWriter**: Yeah, Roy x Kagome is pedophilia, but what about Roy x Ed? Ed's the same age as Kagome. AND the Roy x Ed relationship is not only pedophilia but homosexuality as well – TWO strikes, ha ha. But yeah. Blame my friend. He made me do it. T.T Thanks for the review!

**Valen aka Backstreet**: Don't think it didn't creep me out as well! I don't like Kagome and Roy is my fiance, of course it freaking scared me, and I wrote it. T.T Oh, the things I'll do for incest fic compensation for my dirty work… :sigh: Anyway, that's cool you talked your friends into it. :gets Armstrong sparkles: Your friends will not be disappointed! For drabble writing has been passed down the Mustang (my last-name-to-be. I never really had a maiden name… XP) line for generations! Thanks for the review!

**Blackrose Kitsune**: Ick, I know, I don't think Kagome is Roy's type of girl… or vice versa. More likely the vice versa part… Or maybe I'm just biased because I don't like Kagome… :sweatdrop: There are very few female anime characters that I actually like… Eh, anyway, I'm glad you liked the ending. I wasn't sure how to end it at first, and then it just came to me. _Sit_. Duh, it's so obvious! Lol, thanks for the review:)

**Fading wind**: Oh, wow, good luck studying abroad! It must be fun as well as kinda scary. And I was all "whee, new experience!" when I persuaded my parents to send me to public school… n.n; Well, that's okay if you can't get to review everything. Just do so when you can. And don't feel bad about not knowing any otaku. My friends at my old school were anime-impaired and just nodded and smiled or said "shut up!" whenever I'd ramble about FMA or YYH or Inuyasha or whatever I was into at the time, so I kinda know how that is. That's what you need Internet and fanfiction for – communication with the "sane" people like us who like anime! XDDD Later! Thanks for the review!

**writerauthorguy**: Trust me, you are no perv. Judging by your reviews, you are a perfectly normal person with a sound mind. I, on the other hand, have been dubbed "The Goddess of All Perverts", so I'm pretty sure you pale in comparison to me when it comes to perviness. (Yes, I am proud of this. Don't give me that look! o.o) Ha ha, anyway, thanks for the review:) Don't let me scare you!

**K. A. Maples**: My goodness, don't die on me! O.O Glad you enjoy the drabbles. Thanks for reviewing!

**Miss Darkrose**: Yes, Kagome is a little bit too institutionalized to the Feudal Era. Which is why she should stay in her own show and not mess with loveable, sexy Roy-chan… … What am I saying, I wrote this! u.u' Ah well. Thanks for the review! Glad you liked it!

**MetalWing Alchemist**: Watching the PPG movie once was enough for me! Oh, when was it that I watched it…? I watched its premiere on CN like two years ago… That was my big event of that summer. Wow, huh? Hey, don't feel bad, I know how being short is. When I went to my new high school to get my ID picture taken and find my locker and stuff, everybody else was so tall! I was like, "Woah… I feel short…" T.T Didn't help that I really stood out in the crowd by actually dressing up for pictures… Whoopsies, I guess public schools don't really do that… :sweatdrop: Ha ha. Oh, yeah, HP6 was sad… But I liked it. I'm not sure if I think it's the best book in the series (Goblet of Fire gives it a run for its money; I really liked that one, but I really liked HBP too… o.o), but it's dang good, albeit sad. Why did… the person who died… have to die! (Don't wanna spoil anything in case other people are reading this.) Nuuuuu! But yes. Hear us ramble! Yaaay! n.n Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	32. Tales From a Desk Phone IV

A/N: I have… nothing to say here. :bites hand to keep from snickering: Please R & R!

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**32. Tales From a Desk Phone IV – Perfect Plan Part One

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**

"Colonel!" Mistress Riza Hawkeye gasped as she dropped Penelope and me to the ground rather carelessly. We landed with a thud, bouncing slightly from the jarring fall.

We braced ourselves, our teeth clenched and backs arched, waiting for the imminent doom Master Mustang was about to impart. But it never came. Instead, Master Mustang stumbled and fell to the ground, clutching his abdomen.

It was dark and gloomy outside, but through the mist-like haze, I noticed that on the dark ground amid the pebbles and browning grass was blood. Deep crimson, it dribbled from between Master Mustang's fingertips and seeped into the ground. Penelope gasped; but I remained silent.

"Colonel, please, what happened?" Mistress Hawkeye cried, kneeling to inspect Master Mustang's wound. I heard the colonel sputter and choke, his voice sounding oddly toad-like as he croaked, "The homunculi… the homunculi…"

"What?" Mistress Hawkeye drew a sharp breath of shock. Penelope and I were shocked too; homunculi? What were they…?

Whoever they were, I realized with a smirk, they were good people. They had dealt my master excruciating pain, retribution! I grinned. Penelope, however, was holding back tears.

I turned to her. "Penelope, why…?"

She started to wail. What? Why? What's going on? Why are you crying, Penelope? Aren't you pleased to see that our master is hurt?

Mistress Hawkeye suddenly bolted to her feet and dashed inside the building, breathing heavily as she raced through the darkened hallways from which we had just escaped. I thought I saw tears streaked across her cheeks. It seems as if my only other ally has let herself break in pity of the evil Master Mustang.

In the brief silences between Penelope's sobs, I could hear Master Mustang dying. His breaths rattled and became more labored. Through a small opening in Mistress Hawkeye's bag, I could see his face – pale as his gloves, covered in sweat. Eyes closed, mouth grimacing, blood trickling from his cheek as well as his stomach. His fancy-pants uniform was stained all the way through.

And before Mistress Hawkeye returned, I alone saw Master Mustang slam his face into the dirt in a literal dead faint. And I grinned. My plan has worked perfectly…

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**MetalWing Alchemist**: Ya know, I have no idea why I even watched the PPG movie… I wasn't that into PPG (haven't been since I was 7… lol, but a couple years ago or whenever it was, it was always on after Rurouni Kenshin when Toonami still aired it, so I'd watch it… :-P). Ya know what's so ironic? Up until 7th grade, I dressed up for school pictures. Then in 8th grade, I decided to be a rebel and wear a T-shirt and jeans. Now I go into a public high school and dress up again. I swear, I'm some kind of moron… Ah well. As for HP, I can't help but like the evil people. Malfoy is my favorite character (big shipper of Harry x Draco! Yummy! XDDD), so the person who killed the person who died is still okay in my book. I believe he had a justifiable reason for doing what he did, but that's more of a topic for forums, ne? Anyway, God, I LOVE Roy x Fuery… Fuery is my 2nd-favorite bishie in FMA, and pairing up the two hottest bishies in a show is like… YUMMY! But Roy x Ed is ultimately more delicious… There's just something so irresistible about taboo relationships… Ha ha. Thanks for the review!

**Fading wind**: Yeah, I liked that last drabble too. I can't help but feel SO BAD for Fuery-chan for missing out on what Roy said later… T.T :sniff: To answer your question, I went to a private school from kindergarten through 8th grade. It was a Catholic school with an entire population in the 2004-2005 school year of 242 students. Total. From kindergarten through 8th grade (my class had 26 kids). In private schools, you have to pay a hefty, expensive tuition fee to attend. Supposedly, it's supposed to be "better education". In my opinion, it sucks because you're sheltered from the rest of the world. You're just stuck in your little classroom full of preppy white Catholic kids and teachers who make you tuck in your shirt. Public school is, for the most part, free, and available to all kids. No lame-ass dress code is required, and nobody is forced to go to church every week. Hope that answers your question… Thanks for the review!

**Blackrose Kitsune**: Ha ha, yes, much tamer, ne? I guess old habits die hard; I used to be a hardcore yaoi "pr0n" writer… :sweatdrop: Couldn't resist. :-P I'm glad you liked the last one though! Thanks for the review!

**K. A. Maples**: Well, dead or alive, as long as you're reviewing, I'm happy. Ha ha, that sounds selfish, doesn't it:odd little smirk: Anyway, glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the review!

**Writerauthorguy**: Aw, thank you very much. Wow, my next Fuery drabble isn't until like… #47 or something like that… but it sucks 'cuz it's retarded. T.T I should write some Fuery-centric ones later… Hmmm… Your comments on my talent make me blush! Thank you muchly:)

**Miss Darkrose**:sigh: Ah, I know, it's too bad Fuery-chan missed out on the best line of the drabble. C'est la vie, though, eh? Thanks for the review!

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A/N: Ya know, why is Riza running back IN to the building anyway? No one's there... Lol. Flaw in the drabble! O.O Oh well... :sweatdrop: Please review anyway!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	33. Aunt Malise's Closet

A/N: If you _really_ want to know the story behind this drabble, here it is in a nutshell: For many days, I've been trying in vain to be able to draw Roy. For many days, I have failed (I've gotten much better though; the pics somewhat resemble him now! o.o). One day, I decided to draw Roy, and since I'm lazy and can't figure out how to draw his uniform, I drew him shirtless. But his head ended up too small and he just looked weird. What he looked like was an angsty 12-year-old. Hence… the Angsty!Adolescent!Roy drabble, "Aunt Malise's Closet". This one is… not that great, because the verb tense is… not good… and… I dunno. I think I was trying to be poetic or something, and I failed miserably. Ah well… Please review!

Fun Fact: The name "Malise" means "black" or "dark". Ha ha. I have fun picking out these names… XP

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**33. Aunt Malise's Closet

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Alone he sits. And he sighs. One hand is propped on his knee, holding his chin. His chin feels heavy, bony. He shifts his palm. It doesn't help the pain. His elbow digs into his knee; that hurts too.

A younger Roy Mustang, age twelve, was wondering why he was locked in a closet.

It smells like mothballs. Though that was, of course, to expected from Aunt Malise, who seems to have no regards for other peoples' comfort. Her entire house – the house that Roy was staying at – smells like mothballs and cat shit, though she has no cats.

Aunt Malise Mustang is not a very nice woman. Not at all. Roy hates her, and he hates his parents for dumping him on her doorstep two days ago. But most of all, Roy hates Aunt Malise's cooking, which has left him starving for the past eight hours. A bowl of soggy lima beans is not normally considered "breakfast".

And Roy groans as he feels his empty stomach rumble with hunger. There is nothing to eat in the closet. Roy leans back, resting his head on what he guesses is a pair of shoes. A spider crawls out from inside the boot and scuttles its way across Roy's face, and Roy blows it away, resisting the urge to sneeze.

Sadly, Roy pushes himself up off the shoes and wraps his arms around his legs. He has been switching positions for the past three hours, but nothing seems comfortable. He has tried calling for Aunt Malise, but he has the funny feeling she's left him alone in the house. Not like Roy cares. He'd rather be alone than with Aunt Malise, whom he hates. A lot.

Another hour ticks by. Roy returns his chin to his hand and his elbow to his knee. It still hurts. Roy curses how thin he is, and he gets a strange desire to have chocolate. Of course, there is no chocolate in Aunt Malise's closet.

Roy remembers why he is locked in Aunt Malise's closet. Apparently it was a bad thing to raid her husband's stash of porno pictures.

He still hates the closet, though. There is no porn in the closet.

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A/N: Ah… I can't help but like these "wtf"-drabbles… :sweatdrop:

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**MetalWing Alchemist**: I mostly watched Yu Yu Hakusho on the Toonami block way back when (my first anime, not counting Pokemon or Sailor Moon), but whenever I had the chance, I'd watch RK. It's not my favorite show, but I do like it very much. n.n Haven't watched it in ages, though… But yeah, I know what you mean. I'm ticked off at Toonami because they edited YYH and MANGLED it beyond all belief (that's why I buy the DVDs or rent 'em if the video stores carry 'em)… ha ha. Yay for Malfoy-chan! He is TEH AWSUM!1one17 Yeah, well, I don't read too much HP fics either, but I'm just kind of a closet shipper of the Harry x Draco pairing, if you know what I mean. Although there was this one time I read a Harry x Draco mpreg… ha ha. Wow. That dropped my IQ about 500 points. Pretty funny though. Mpreg makes me giggle hysterically because it's so shamefully wrong, you can't help but laugh! Just like really smutty hardcore yaoi fics… ha ha ha. Laugh laugh laugh. But anyway, mugglenet dot com has some good HP fics… And last time I checked, they even separated the slash from the non-slash so it's easy to find what you're looking for. Kinda like C2's here. But yeah, hee hee, hooray for evil phones! I think my cell phone is evil… The only calls I get on it are wrong numbers… : ( Thanks for the review!

**Miss DarkRose**: I think this is so interesting. Peoples' attitudes toward the desk phone change drastically once I post "TFaDP 4". Lol, it's so amusing! First people are all like, "Ah! Oh no, desk phone! Poor thing! I feel so bad!" and then they're like, "Ah! Evil phone! Die! Die! Die!" Ha ha. Thanks for the review!

**Fading wind**: Well, you'll just have to wait and see if Roy-chan dies or not. :-P Lol, I know, "fancy-pants" is such a fun word… Now you've got me giggling too! Curse you! And then that brings back memories of Drabble #12 or whatever number it was and the "hardcore brushing"… lmfao… Anyway, yeah, I really have no idea why Riza runs back in the building. I was gonna fix that, but then I was like, "No. No. Ya know what? I'm too damn lazy to do that. So I won't." And I didn't. :sweatdrop: Ah well. Thanks for the review!

**K. A. Maples**: Really makes you wanna answer your phone the next time it rings, doesn't it? Ha ha. Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	34. Havoc x Hughes: Copycat Hobbies

A/N: Umm… crack pairing, obviously. Pre-Episode-25. Another "wtf" drabble. XP Please review!

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**34. Havoc x Hughes – Copycat Hobbies

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**

Havoc had secrets. Of course he did, didn't everyone? However, the difference between Havoc's secrets and other peoples' secrets was that nobody knew about Havoc's secrets. He supposed that was the point of a secret, to have no one know about it, but everybody he knew had a secret, and he knew what that secret was, so was that theory of secrets really true?

He knew for a fact that Riza Hawkeye had the world's biggest crush on Roy Mustang. And he knew that Roy never wore underwear on Tuesdays (though he wasn't sure why). He also knew that Lieutenant Colonel Hughes had no interest in him whatsoever.

But that didn't stop him from taking as many pictures of the goofy Lieutenant Colonel as the goofy Lieutenant Colonel took of his daughter, Elysia. Lieutenant Havoc had a secret stash of pictures, a whole desk drawer full of them. His secret was well-kept with a padlock, especially the pictures he had taken of Hughes in the shower.

Lieutenant Havoc was smarter than most people made him out to be. He knew _exactly_ how to infiltrate the Hughes household and gain access to all of the private rooms. He knew how to disguise himself as a wall with a camera, and he knew how to snap photos of Maes Hughes during his private home moments without him noticing.

It was actually a tip he had picked up from the Lieutenant Colonel himself. Havoc grinned; if Hughes ever found about his secret little stash of pictures that were taken using his own secret picture-taking techniques… that would probably be the end of his obsession with photography.

"You're evil, Havoc," the lieutenant said to himself as he dug through his collection of photos and pulled out the one of Hughes brushing his teeth. "Pure evil, using your love's hobbies against him… You're an evil copycat."

And he grinned.

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**MetalWing Alchemist**: Oh, I've never seen Tenchi Muyo… I was a Sailor Moon girl. Me and my friend would "play" it, and I always got to be Sailor Moon because I was the older of the two of us. :-P Ugh, I know, HBO always repeats the same movies over and over… I remember one time, we had a one-month subscription and I watched Charlie's Angels about 12 times… I love YYH. It was my favorite until FMA came along… Damn FMA… so… addicting… O.O Ha ha, well, I'm glad you like my "wtf" drabbles. They're fun to write. n.n So random, indeed. So "wtf-y". Sorry, I'm like, never on IM… v.v I never have time… T.T But sometime I'll try to get on, 'kay? Thanks for the review!

**Blackrose Kitsune**: And who doesn't love a teenaged pervert? Ha ha, yep. While Roy-chan was locked in that closet, he found some of his aunt's miniskirts and became fascinated with them… no, but… haha. Random thought. What was I saying again? No idea. Ummm, thanks for the review! n.n

**K. A. Maples**: Roy without porn is like a day without… whatever the hell cereal it was that that old commercial used to talk about… Remember that commercial? Or am I just going crazy…? Ah, wtf. Thanks for the review! n.n

**Miss DarkRose**: Hmmm… I'd say about… 5"5 or 5"6. Tall for his age, but still delightfully yummy! XDDD Thanks for the review!

**Wind Omega**: Well, dang, that rules out my Scieszka x Hughes one-shot I did a while ago… Ha ha. But no, I know whatcha mean. I was thinking of doing a Scieszka x Al one. Sound cool to you? I personally love Scieszka (but Scieszka yuri is just… freaky… O.o), so I'll take that idea into account! Thank you very much for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	35. Roy x Riza: Paperwork

A/N: I wanted to do something cute… but it kind of turned out a little bit stupid, but what the hell, right? It's a Royai, and everybody loves those:-P hee hee. Please review!

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**35. Roy x Riza – Paperwork

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**

Mustang took a detour on his way out of the office for the night. Riza Hawkeye was standing outside his door, looking rather melancholy, her normally beautiful amber eyes downcast and lips tugged into a sad frown. Roy did a U-turn and stepped right up next to Riza, casually swinging his arm across her shoulders and pulling her body closer to his.

Riza tried not to gasp, but she was taken by surprise. She hadn't expected Roy to notice her standing there; usually he didn't notice her at all… or so it seemed. Turns out, she was quite mistaken. He noticed her all the time…

"Hey there, what's wrong?" he asked, his thumbs tugging at her cheeks, trying to make her smile. Riza swatted his hands away and let out a breathy laugh. "I… nothing…" she said. Roy looked at her quizically.

"I missed you this afternoon," he said seriously. "Why didn't you come in to yell at me for not doing my paperwork?"

Riza's lip quivered. "B-because… you were actually _doing_ your paperwork, sir. I… I didn't feel the need to come yell at you." Roy frowned.

"Riza… You're always welcome to come into my room and yell at me. Don't let my paperwork get in the way."

He pressed his lips up against Riza's, and Riza, for the first time, didn't feel the need to yell at him.

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**

**writerauthorguy**: Aw, man, don't make me squee over your adorably cute pairing :squees anyway: Scieszka x Fuery, I never woulda thought of that:hands you genius pin: I will definitely write one of those! Can't say when it'll be posted, but I will definitely write it! Thank you so much for the idea (and the review)!

**TheBlondeWriter**: Wow, I think you're one of the first people here besides Valen to call me CK… Yaaaaay, my nickname's getting around. :-P Lol, anyway, man, yeah, Hughes in the shower equals yummy! Hughes and Roy in the shower (together or not, whichever you prefer) equals DOUBLE YUMMY! Damn you. Now you've got me lost in a fantasyland… :bashes head against wall: Gah! Thanks for the review:sweatdrop:

**Fading wind**: I have no idea how I thought up Havoc x Hughes. Seriously, no frickin' clue. O.o; Geez, now that I think about it, there really was no reason behind that pairing… But ah… I'm glad you liked 'em anyway. n.n And thanks for the luck on drawing. I've gotten much better at drawing Roy-chan. One of these days, I'll have to get a side7 account or a deviantart one and post up my art there… I'm too lazy though… :yawns: Ah well. Thanks for the review!

**Valen aka Backstreet**: I don't know why you even bother reviewing on here. AS is back and new drabbles are updated there… lol Oh well. Nice to have some AS-company here on FFN:hugs: w00ts for the closet-Roy drabble! Wait a sec… closet… Roy… ha ha… homosexual analogies… Man, I kill myself with my amazingly bad jokes… XDDD Thanks for the review!

**Wind Omega**: Okay, I'm glad you think so. However, it will be a while before the Sceiszka x Al drabble shows up (it'll be in the "sequel" series to this), since I already have all 50 drabbles for this fic written and then some. But I promise I will write it; it's on my to-do list. Thanks for the idea and the review!

**Blackrose Kitsune**: You got it right. The point of a "wtf"-drabbles it to make people go "wtf". People tell me I have a knack for doing that… heh heh. Thanks for the review!

**Miss DarkRose**: I'm younger than Ed and his height… and I'm one of the shortest of my friends… T.T Waaah, all my friends are 5"8 basketball players… And I am the 5"3 ex-cheerleader… ha ha. Glad you enjoyed the drabble; thanks for the review!

**MetalWing Alchemist**: I would always watch Sailor Moon in the afternoon. And my friend and I would always laugh at her little sister because our baby-sitter (this was way back when I went to a daycare-ish house) wouldn't let her watch it because it had a Y7 rating and she was only 5. XP Ahh, good times… I liked Sailor Mars the best… Before I got hooked on FMA (I sound like I'm advertising for Hukd en Fonix… O.o), I watched Inuyasha… and now I kinda don't watch Inuyasha anymore (FMA 'tis way better). Lmao, yeah, um, the first episode I watched, I think, was "FullMetal vs. Flame", but I only caught like the end half of it or something… and then I was like, "Hm, this is interesting." The first thought that popped into my head was "Ed and Al would be a good pairing…" XDDD Then I was trying to tell my friend about it, and then she says, "Oh, FullMetal-whatever? Isn't that about robots…?" I felt like bashing my head against a large block of cement… _robots…_ Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	36. Guilty

A/N: Ooh, I love this one. It's probably not my best, but it's still one of my favorites because… well… murder in fanfics are kind of a weird fetish of mine… ha ha. Please review!

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**36. Guilty

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**

"And on the count of murder in the first degree of FullMetal Alchemist Edward Elric, the court finds the defendant, Flame Alchemist Colonel Roy Mustang… guilty as charged."

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Those words of the judge resonated in my ears for the next three hours after the trial. The legal process hadn't taken very long – less than a year since I was first formally indicted - then there was a short trial, and then I was home in the slammer for life.

I know the others wanted me to get the death penalty, but my rank and good lawyer just got me a life sentence. Without parole, of course. Why would they give a murderer parole? That's foolish.

At the trial, everybody in the military testified against me. Well, everyone except Al and Riza, of course, who had burst into hysterical tears as soon as they were put on the witness stand. Their testimonies were not necessary anyway; Hughes, Havoc, Fuery, Falman, Breda, Ross, Brosh – even Fuhrer Bradley – all took care of the testifying part. Against me, of course. I had no one on my side except my lawyer.

So that's why I'm sitting here in this dank, disgusting prison cell. And I'll be sitting here for the rest of my life. Am I sorry I did what I did to FullMetal? No. Not really. The newspapers wrote every-so-creatively "the killer showed no remorse". Yeah. Original. And you're damn right I didn't show any remorse. Why would a murderer show remorse? That's not what murderers do. They murder. And they do it because they want to – hence the "no remorse" part.

Ahh… FullMetal. I remember the bastard when he was alive. I'll bet he's gloating up in Alchemist Heaven… or burning in Alchemist Hell, wherever it is that he went when I burned him to death after strangling him with a garrotte from behind and chopping off his flesh fingers and toes. Damn automail ripped me off; I could've had all ten fingers and all ten toes in my pocket by the time I left his room. But no. I'm left with no tokens of my kill and I'm wearing a goddamn smelly prison uniform.

FullMetal Bastard was really pushing me to my limits. He served me staggering amounts of paperwork on a fucking silver platter, treated me with as much respect as one treats a mosquito, and would yell at me for hours on end in his little temper tantrums that other people found so amusing. No. It was not amusing. It wasn't funny at all. It was downright annoying.

That's why I'm here. To put FullMetal in his place. A grave.

The bars slam shut on my cell. It'll be a long and lonely fifty-plus years here. But any fifty-plus years will be wonderful without the FullMetal Bastard.

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**

**MetalWing Alchemist**: I never watched the Super S ones… just the original. Dunno why… Oh! And "Soul of the Guardian"! That's one of my favorite episodes (along with "FullMetal vs. Flame", of course and um… umm… this other one that I can't remember the name of… o.o')! I think on they said new eps air on September 17 at midnight. I'm glad you liked the drabble! I'm such a big sucker for Royai… Awww… lmao, "robot in a loin cloth"… :bursts out laughing: Wow, I used to watch G-4 back when it was still called "Tech TV"… I used to be such a big Robot Wars junkie… until my folks cut back on the satellite, and now we don't get that channel anymore. T.T Ah well. Thanks for the review!

**Fading wind**: Oh, are your Royai fics posted here? If they are, I'll have to check them out tomorrow (I gotta get goin' to be soon… :yawn: ). I love Royai! XDDD :squee: That's okay if you can't find the right word. "Sweet" works for me! Thanks for the review!

**writerauthorguy**: Ya know, I'd almost be offended there… You're lucky you didn't catch me at a moment when my massive ego was at its most-inflated. :-P Thanks for the review!

**Valen aka Backstreet**: Well, hey, ya know, I love all the reviews I can get, so me happy you review here. :D I don't know why this one's your favorite… it's really not that great, but hey, whatever, you like it, so therefore I must be a genius… ha ha, just kidding. Thanks for the review!

**Blackrose Kitsune**: Ah, see now, that's the magic of fanfiction. Characters can do all sorts of things they wouldn't normally do – like paperwork! Actually, I really have no idea why Roy was doing paperwork… he just… was… O.o; Eh. Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	37. Scieszka x Al: There Are Other Things

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while! I've been busy… This one is for Wind Omega! I decided to post it sooner so I wouldn't forget. Hot off the presses, I just wrote this one yesterday. Please enjoy! Sorry the title's so long:sweatdrop:

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**37. Scieszka x Al – There Are Other Things I Love Besides Books

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**

"Thanks for carrying my books for me," said Scieszka brightly to Al as he walked her home.

"No problem," said Al, stopping at Scieszka's door and opening up his chest plate. Dozens of books were stacked up inside.

"I really hope this isn't embarrassing or degrading for you," Scieszka apologized worriedly, her large, dramatic hazel eyes widening. "I mean, using you like some kind of suitcase or something… because I'm really sorry if it is! And also, um… thanks for paying for all of those new encyclopedia volumes and mystery novels…" Scieszka scratched at her mousy brown hair nervously.

"No, really, it's no problem." Al closed his chest plate and put a metal hand on the small of Scieszka's back. "I know how much you like books, Scieszka. Don't worry about it."

Al had taken her into town to the large bookstore while Ed had been off doing something for the military. "You'll be okay on your own, Al?" he had asked before leaving, and Al had nodded, knowing exactly what to do in lieu of Ed's absence; for a long time – ever since they had met, actually – Al had been wanting to go out with Scieszka, the cute girl who used to work at the Central Library.

At the bookstore, Scieszka, overexcited as expected, had bounded around from shelf to shelf, gasping and gazing at the hundreds of neatly-bound tomes of nonfiction and novels, encyclopedias and comic books. She had had a hard time containing herself.

Finally, Scieszka had decided on about three dozen different books to buy, and Al had generously paid the entire expense. Like Ed, he had a costly habit of buying whatever his lady friend desired.

Scieszka blushed at Al's kindness and gave him her biggest, cutest smile. The dimples in her cheeks stood out attractively, and the face of Al's armor seemed to grin as well. _She's such a great girl…_

"Thanks again, Al," Scieszka said, taking a stack of books from Al's chest plate and continuing to smile lovingly. "I had a great time with you tonight."

"Me too, Scieszka," said Al. "I, um… was also hoping we would be able to do this again soon… I… I know a good bookstore in my own hometown, Rizembul…"

Scieszka's smile mellowed slightly as she looked into Al's kind eyes and replied, "Al, there are other things I love besides books. Why don't we just go out for a walk in the park? You know, so I can spend time with _you_. Because I really like you, Al. Really, I do!"

Al exclaimed excitedly and gave Scieszka a hug. "I'm so glad!" he said. "I like you too, Scieszka!"

"Then it's a date?"

"Sure is!"

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**

**writerauthorguy**: Sorry! I never really thought too much of the murder's details, so I never wrote another drabble on it. T.T I wouldn't know where to begin, first of all… heh heh. The last drabble was kind of just a "what the hell" kinda drabble… Sorry about that! Thanks for the review!

**K. A. Maples**: Well, I'm glad you liked it! Watching Law & Order and Clint Eastwood movies will make me do odd drabbles such as the last one… O.o Thanks for the review!

**Blackrose Kitsune**: "Ed is dead?" Yes. "Roy killed him?" Yes. "What has the world come to?" I have no idea. But I'd like to think it has become an avocado. Heh heh. Thanks for the review:)

**Valen aka Backstreet**: Heh. :hits Roy: Bad Taisa! Bad Taisa! Lol, that's fun… I thought the finger and toes twist would be like added psychopathic goryness. Blame "Taking Lives" – that movie's freakeh. O.O But I like it. n.n Thanks for the review!

**MetalWing Alchemist**: Well THANK YOU for witholding the spoilers! I've heard way more than I should (never on purpose! T.T) about FMA and I don't need to hear any more… I hate spoilers. They spoil everything:cries: Anyway… actually now, I read on adultswim's website that new episodes of FMA are airing on Sept. 8 at 11:30 eastern time… Bah, stupid website; it likes to randomly change the schedule and confuse me! T.T But no, I haven't seen the adultswim clip! I don't have the right media program for it or something… :cries some more: But regarding my actual drabble, yeah, I have thing for murder fics… They're just so interesting! You know, everybody already thinks I'm sadistic (and I kinda am, to be honest v.v), but reading murder mystery novels is totally okay with them. Go figure. :rolls eyes: Thanks for the review!

**Miss DarkRose**: I didn't really have a good reason for Roy to kill Ed (because I support Roy x Ed too much ha ha), so I just picked "because Ed was annoying". Because if I were Roy, I would feel annoyed with Ed not giving me the proper respect (I have an even bigger ego than Roy does XP), and that might lead to some unpleasant circumstances for Mr. FullMetal… hee hee. Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	38. Sceiszka x Fuery: Discussion

A/N: Dedicated to writerauthorguy here! Thanks for the pairing! I think it's just adorable! This drabble takes place before Scieszka was laid off from the library, fyi… And for some reason I think I totally screwed up on the verb tenses here… but right now I don't care! Leave me alone, I'm tired… u.u

PS. If anyone cares, I got a job at the library now too! I'm a Scieszka clone. I even look like her when I'm wearing glasses… O.o;

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**38. Scieszka x Fuery – Discussion

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**

It was Kain Fuery's one day off that week, and he was spending it in the library. His face was buried in a thick romance novel, but he wasn't really concentrating; there were other things his eyes – and mind – were on.

He saw her coming his way, and he quickly averted his eyes back to the book, trying to bring the jumbled-up words back into focus. A tiny hint of a blush rose past his cheeks and up his forehead to the hairline. Luckily, the reddish tint went unnoticed by the library attendant, the cute girl with brown hair and glasses whom Kain had been watching for the past three hours.

He was too busy trying to concentrate on reading to notice that the girl had walked right up behind him. "Good book, isn't it?" she asked, her face smiling brightly as she leaned down to be face-to-face with the sitting Fuery.

Kain jumped and blushed redder, accidentally losing his page in the romance novel. "Y-yes it is!" he stuttered. His heart was pounding.

"I just love how Andrew and Charlene always seem to get into so much mischief, like that time they got lost in the art museum—"

"Yeah, me too," Fuery added, not having a clue what she was talking about.

The girl smiled again and gave Kain's shoulders a squeeze, formally introducing herself. "My name's Scieszka, sorry for just sneaking up on you like that! But when I saw the book you were reading, I just couldn't resist popping in! That's one of my absolute favorite books. Hey, maybe we should go out for coffee or something sometime? We can discuss the book, that's always fun! I love book discussions; I wish more people would…"

Fuery found his voice after a second and nodded, smiling himself. "Yeah, okay," he said. "I like coffee. A-and books. And you. And books. I like books."

"That's great!" cried Scieszka, not catching Fuery's silly slipup. She clapped her hands together and squealed, "We can go tonight, my shift ends early!"

Fuery nodded. Scieszka grinned, glanced at the clock and sweat-dropped, suddenly remembering that she should be doing her job instead of chatting. And as she ran off, Fuery quickly turned back to page one of the book and started reading as fast as he could, this time actually concentrating on the finer details…

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**writerauthorguy**: I imagine Sceiszka having an awkward time getting a guy too. n.n She's just that kinda girl, isn't she:D I hope you liked this one, too. Lmao about your "awkward" rant… That is weird. I hate typing the word "awkward" too… Too many w's… I think whoever invented that word should've thrown in some z's too… Thanks for the review!

**MetalWing Alchemist**:major sweatdrop: Okay, you know what? I lied. Actually, I MISREAD the adultswim website. It's October 8, not September 8, when the new eps start. :bashes head against wall: Stupid me and my not-reading-good skills. : ( So sorry about that! Then again, AS will probably change their schedule 600 times before then… They have a bit of a reputation for it… v.v Ah well. Can't complain. S'long as they show new eps before the next millenium, I guess I'm okay… Glad you liked the last drabble! Thanks for the review!

**Sika-Kuriyama**: Thankies! n.n I absolutely love Sceiszka, and I am forever indebted to Wind Omega for telling me to write a Scieszka drabble… ugh, I am stupid, I never thought to do it before… Just like I've never done an Elricest drabble either, yet I kinda like that pairing… Hmmmm, go figure. Oh well. Thanks for the review!

**K. A. Maples**:squees: I know! Isn't Al just awesome? Lyke teh shiznor? (don't ask, I don't know either) I love Al! n.n Not as much as Roy because Roy is the Bishie God, but… yeah… :clears throat: Yay for cuteness and Al! His name kinda looks like that A-1 steak sauce… Thanks for the review!

**Fading wind**: Yeah, I know, a lot of times my ending lines really suck. Sorry about that. :sweatdrop: I just didn't know how to end it, so I was like, "Okay! Something corny and nonsensical it is!" Meh! I think that's such a weird pairing, Scieszka x Winry… I've seriously never heard of it before until you came along, and it disturbs the hell outta me (maybe because I don't really like Winry… o.o), but one of these days, I think I'll have to write a drabble on it… Just because it's so intriguing… XD Thanks for the review!

**Wind Omega**: Thank you very much! Scieszka x Al is so adorable… n.n non-yuri Sceiszka fic searching… Good luck with that! I haven't seen many Scieszka fics period! Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	39. Envy x Hughes: I Didn't Do It

A/N: I think this is like FMA blasphemy, but… it was one of those insomnia-induced 1am drabble ideas that decided to come to me in a vision. Oddly enough, I started crying right after I thought of it… But I figured I would just do it anyway. :sigh: Read and review… if you dare… O.o; Post-Episode-25…

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**39. Envy x Hughes – I Didn't Do It

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**

I… I faltered. I couldn't do it. I didn't do it. I just didn't see the point.

Maes Hughes, was that his name? I don't remember. The entire night was such a blur. Conning people takes so much energy out of me. Personally, I don't give a damn what the guy's name was. It doesn't matter. Not anymore.

It wasn't really _me_ that killed him. It was his wife, Gracia, isn't that right? Not me. Certainly not me. I, Envy, could not kill a man so charming and fine. No. Never.

Red is a funny color. It's very pretty – looks good on the FullMetal pipsqueak – but it also has a dark side. That metallic, ugly side that spurts up from the chest of the one you – no, not _you_ - just killed. I'll bet it was a pain in the ass to wash out of his uniform.

Am I guilty for what I did? No. Because it wasn't _me_ that did it! How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not even telling anybody; I'm telling myself. Sheesh. This is lame. I have to tell myself things. What am I, crazy?

No. I'm not crazy. Just in love. I'm in love with the same goddamn man I didn't murder!

Maybe I am crazy.

He's dead.

But I didn't kill him. That's not _my_ damage burning a hole in his chest. That's not the body of the man I killed lying in that casket in that grave. That girl crying. I didn't kill her father. No, not me. Her mother killed him. Doesn't she see that? Doesn't she understand?

No. Nobody understands. I don't understand. Why did I kill him?

No. I told you. I didn't do it. I didn't kill him.

Killing the one I love is totally against my nature.

Not it isn't.

But I didn't do it.

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**

**Chris 'n' Blonde**: Thanks for the review!

**K. A. Maples**: Hey, the suggestion of Scieszka x Fuery was just TOO KYOOT! n.n Thanks for the review!

**writerauthorguy**: Aw, thank you so much. And double thanks for suggesting the pairing. Well, sometimes I try to show off and write in different verb tenses, and I usually switch off and… it just isn't goodly. :-P Thanks for the review!

**Wing Omega**: You know what? I just realized. I've been spelling your name wrong for like… a long time. I'm so sorry about that! But anyway, wow, I guess there are more Scieszka fics than I thought… Then again, I don't regularly scour the FMA section here, so I probably miss out on a lot… Oh well. Thanks for the review!

**MetalWing Alchemist**: T.T Me sad AS bumped back FMA's new episodes… I was looking so forward to watching them in September – a welcome break from school, you know – and then it's pushed all the way into October. How depressing. T.T My September will be absolutely dismal now… :goes off on long, wangsty tangent:recovers: Anyway, yes, Scieszka x Fuery is ADORABLE! Maybe because I just really love Fuery… Almost as much as I love Roy, but not quite… ;) I um… hope you found this new pairing um… enjoyable? Awkward? Downright wrong? So wrong that I should be hung from my toenails and banished to the land of badfic authors? O.O … Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	40. Ed & Winry: Shut Up

A/N: Hmmm, okay, well, lately I've heard that reviewer responses aren't allowed here anymore. What's up with that? I didn't see that as a new rule in the guidelines, so where did that rumor pop up? I just want to know if it's true or not (wouldn't surprise me; this site has way too many stupid rules…). But just to be safe, I won't do reviewer responses for this drabble. But remember I LOVE YOU ALL! n.n And I read all my reviews and they makeh meh happeh. But enough about that. This is a note on this drabble – I'll say it right now. I am not a Winry fan. That's all. Please read and review!

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**40. Winry & Ed – Shut Up

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**

"Hey, Ed, guess what? Guess what guess what guess what?"

"What?"

"Lookit these shoes? Aren't they pretty? I got 'em imported from India. Aren't they neat? They're really neat, aren't they? I know! I wanted to get them in purple, but they didn't have my size… Grrr, I was so mad! Is it so hard to find a simple size eight shoe in freakin' purple? Huh? Huh? Ed, next time we go shopping, I want you to look as hard as you can for size eight purple shoes, 'kay? You owe me for your last automail tune-up anyway…

"But no really, Ed? Tell me what you honestly think of the haircut? I mean, I know it was just an inch and then a bang trim, but I'm worried. The stylist was like, stupid or something. So I'm worried. What do you think, Ed? Does it look good? Do you like it better down or in a ponytail? Hey, do you think that this hair ribbon will match my shoes? I mean, it's not exactly the same color, but it's close, right? I really wanna know…"

"Sure, Winry."

"So I was thinking, Ed… One of these days we'll have to like… go shopping again. 'Cuz ya know in Rush Valley they have this brand-spankin-new… thing! I mean, I don't really know what it does, but I saw it in a catalog and—Ohhh, Ed, I _want_ it! You have to buy it for me! Please please please please pleeease? 'Cuz it would make me really happy if you did. And ya know when I'm happy, everybody's happy, so it works out just great, doesn't it?

"Oh my gosh, you'll never believe what I heard about Johnny. You know that lazy-eyed kid with the bad haircut about half a mile from here? Well he's getting married. Ew! Like, I know, who would wanna marry that kid? He's _so weird…_ And he totally hates mechanics. I was talking to him the other day and I was like, 'So, automail is cool', right? And he just looks at me and says, 'Yeah, whatever, Wendy.' Psht! The nerve of him! My name is Winry! _Winry_!"

"Yup. Sure is."

"Ed, are you even listening to me?"

Ed closed the book he was trying to read and looked Winry straight in the eye, nostrils flaring. "Winry," he said. "For the love of alchemy, please _shut up!"

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_

A/N: My Winry-bashing skills are amazing. v.v Sorry for any EdWin fans!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	41. Tales From a Desk Phone V

A/N: Ah, finally, Part Five of the "Tales From a Desk Phone" series. If you need a recap, go back to Chapter 32, and re-read it. Also, this ties in with Drabble #9, too, so go back there and read that one as well. I know this series doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Right now, I am too tired to care. Please review! I decided to say "screw the not-really-rules", so the reviewer responses are back. You guys got lucky. I actually had time tonight to do them! (I just started school today – 'tis awesome. I officially love public high school. :-P) Anyway, enjoy, review, and all that. Thankies!

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**41. Tales From a Desk Phone V – Perfect Plan Part Two

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**

I was left outside in the cold while Mistress Hawkeye sat at Master Mustang's bedside, watching him die. Penelope was crying. But I wasn't. Master Mustang was finally getting his long-due punishment.

I heard it from my friend, Lust, what exactly happened. Lust was the homunculi who had killed Master Mustang; I picked her to do the dirty work because I knew that Master Mustang could not resist her, homunculus or not. And I was right. Master Mustang, who had received a call from her – via _me_, I might add – earlier today asking to meet in his office at ten-thirty. I had seen her come in. Penelope did too. But she didn't know my plan.

In a way only a desk phone can manage, I was able to communicate with Lust while she spoke to Master Mustang. I told her to kill him. And she agreed. My plan commenced.

She took him away from his office at ten-thirty, as they scheduled. They were out for an hour or so, and at that time, Mistress Hawkeye came to rescue Penelope and me. Shortly after, as you know, we ran into Master Mustang. Dying Master Mustang – a glorious sight. My plan had worked.

Lust told me later, after I had been _officially_ rescued by her (Penelope wanted to stay behind with her dying master. I'm afraid I no longer love her.) that she had toyed with him in a back alley under the twilight moon then finally gave her perfect, sharp nails a scratching post in the middle of his atrocious belly, killing him.

Of course, he had stumbled all the way to Central – for what, I'm not sure – where he was then taken to the infirmary by Mistress Hawkeye. But it's too late. He's dying. He's _dead_. The evil has been vanquished, and I am in the care of my new mistress – Mistress Lust.

It is five in the morning now. I haven't slept all night, but I am not tired. I miss Penelope, but she is a traitor, staying back with ex-Master Mustang. Mistress Lust has just entered my room, and she leans down next to me, whispering chillingly into my receiver:

"The deed is done, sir. Colonel Roy Mustang died officially at 4:15 this morning."

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A/N: OMFGNOSEBLEEDDIE! Poor Roy-chan! T.T

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**

**Wing Omega** - I would have Winry hit Ed, but I like to keep my drabbles under one page long. Okay, that's not the real reason. I just didn't want to because Winry is meen (not a typo)! Lol, just kidding. I couldn't resist writing that drabble. It was too tempting.

**MetalWing Alchemist** – Seriously, where did the "no reviewer response" thing come from? I'm so confused! And I thought this site was really good about letting us authors know that kinda stuff… and I could go off on a tangent on how much this site irritates me, but I won't. Glad you liked the drabble!

**Sika Kuriyama** – Lol, yay, Winry-hater! I don't hate her when she's not around Ed… because when she's around Ed, she's just so "stereotypical, obnoxious whiny girlfriend". Otherwise, she's okay… Or maybe I'm just jealous because she has better hair than me… T.T ha ha Thanks for the review!

**Miss DarkRose** - Thanks for the review!

**Blackrose Kitsune** - I always love writing drabbles and fics where one character never shuts up. I can just write and write and write about random crap, and then at the end, the all-too-amazing punchline that never gets old: "(character name), shut up." XD Gotta love it. Thanks for the review!

**writerauthorguy** - I'm just gonna say, "screw it, if it isn't in the guidelines, it's allowed". Unfortunately for me, many of the other fics I have would break the rules in the guidelines… FFN, don't take away my reviewer responses! My means of communication to the interesting people of the world! T.T Thanks for the review!

**K. A. Maples** – Whew, glad I'm forgiven. I always get so scared here whenever I post anti-canon stuff, because there are some people here who are really anal about that, unlike my other site, AnimeSpiral, where no one really cares what the hell you post. O.o Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	42. Roy x Ross: Psychic

A/N: I'm not exactly sure how I thought up this pairing, but I LIKE IT and therefore, I must write a weird drabble about it. Maria Ross is my favorite female character, so… yep. Enjoy! Review!

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**42. Roy x Ross – Psychic

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**

"Colonel, sir?"

"What?" grunted the colonel. His chair was swiveled so that the back of it was resting against his desk, the front gazing out the window. The lieutenant behind him frowned at not being able to see his face, but perhaps it was better that way; she would not falter.

_But I might anyway…_ Lieutenant Ross pouted, her shoulders drooping. _It doesn't look like the colonel is having a very good day…_

As if reading her mind, Roy turned around in his chair and faced the lieutenant, a frown etched onto his pale, handsome face. "Look, Ross, I'm not having a good day," he said tersely, sighing. "So make this quick. And you'd better have a point."

Ross opened her mouth, index finger raised as if to make said point, but she stopped, knowing that her visit really didn't have much of a purpose after all. "I'm sorry, sir," she said, her words rushing into a slurred mumble. "I believe I am wasting your time, but I must—"

Roy cocked his head to one side, picking up on the reddish tint showing up on Ross's cheeks and understood. Leaning back, a bit of his bad mood ebbing away, he folded his hands on top of his desk and said calmly, placidly, "Go on, lieutentant. Somehow I'm getting the feeling this isn't going to be a waste of my time."

Caught by surprise, Ross choked on her words and allowed a sheepish, blushing smile to cross her features. The flushed heat radiated, and Roy's heart began to race – the amazing psychic part of him knowing exactly what would happen next.

Good thing it did happen. The colonel didn't know if he could stand not being kissed by Maria Ross.

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**

**writerauthorguy**: He wasn't killed by the _desk phone_, he was killed by Lust, but it was on the desk phone's orders. Lol, this sounds so dumb… oh well. XD Um… wow, you take that idea… go ahead… O.o; Thanks for the review!

**K. A. Maples**: Lol, well, glad ya feel that way! There's not a lot of canon I actually like, so… heh heh. This happens. And yay, glad ya like my stuff! n.n I is happy. EVIL PHONE! PHONES ARE EVIL:sniff: I know… poor Roy… I don't know what I'd do if he really died… T.T Thanks for the review!

**Sika Kuriyama**: See, I think that's so funny. My desk phone stories used to be like really funny and all that, and now, the mood suddenly changes. I love that. Making my readers feel sorry for the phone, and then making them hate the phone. 8) Grr for Winry! I can't do what she does with her hair because my hair's too short and it's not blonde anyway, so bah. Bah on the blonde anime girls. Ed is okay. He's off the hook. ;) But Roy's still better… Thanks for the review!

**Fading wind**: Wah, okay, I'll have to read your Royai ficcies! Yay for Royai:dies:respawns: Yeah, I really hope FFN doesn't outlaw reviewer responses. If they did, I would go into a raging torrent of doom. … That didn't really make much sense. I don't care. :D Someday I'll have to write a Winry x Sceiszka… I'll put that on my to-do list… I can't write this morning, my brain is dead from last night… I was talking to a new buddy of mine and he is SOOO nice! He likes Roy too… n.n Anyway, thanks for the review!

**MetalWing Alchemist**: I used to have an account here back in 2003 (I used to write Invader Zim fanfiction), but then I got kicked off because they banned interactive fics and scriptfics. So I spent a year without any fanfic site, then I found a different one, got an account in '04, and recently, I returned to this place. I guess I can't really forget my roots… n.n; My second day of school 'twas awesome, thank you. 8) Chapter 50 is the last installment of the "Tales From a Desk Phone" series! Stay tuned! Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	43. Two Sad Alchemists

A/N: Oh yeah, I forgot about this drabble. Totally messed-up "angst"-ish, depressing little drabble here. Okay, but here's my question: How did you interpret this drabble? I want to know. I have my own way of interpreting it, but that's not necessarily the right way. Um… enjoy…? Please review!

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**43. Two Sad Alchemists

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**

Two sad alchemists. An office. Grey walls. Grey chair. A desk. Oak desk. Paperwork on top. Undone paperwork. _I don't give a damn about paperwork anymore._

Two sad alchemists. One grey face. Two tired, sad eyes. Lips. Frown. Past never leaves.

Two sad alchemists. One metal face. No expression. No visible emotion. Emotion inside. Present never leaves.

Two sad alchemists. Alone. No one else in the world. No one ever in the world who could feel their pain. Not Hawkeye. Not Havoc. Not Winry. Not Ed. Not Black Hayate who's pissing on the wall. No one understands.

Two sad alchemists. Look at each other. Reaching out through their eyes. Blood drips from the wrist of the flesh. Metal sighing. No flesh wrists to slash on him.

Two sad alchemists. "Why?" asks one.

Two sad alchemists. Glare and shrug. _I want to help…_

"No one can help me."

_Can I try?_

_No._

A flame. An ember.

One sad alchemist.

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**

**MetalWing Alchemist**: My first type of fanfiction was Invader Zim fanfics… And yes, I believe I read one Spongebob fic where Squidward fell in love with a Mary-Sue. I read mostly FMA fics now. n.n Hell yes, I know lots of fanfic sites! (fear the advertisement) Animespiral(dot)com! It's… kinda bad… but it used to be good, I swear! It's mostly just a forum nowadays… but… :sigh: Oh well. I have an account there, same pen name. Then there's mediaminer(dot)org, and E-fiction, but I don't remember the address for that one. Oh, and there's this really good chick who writes awesome (and disturbing) FMA fics (among others). This is the addy. I hate FFN and their… not addy-liking-ness… grr… subsititute all the parantheses for the symbols: http(colon)(backslash backslash)harukami(dot)hanashika(dot)com. Then there's a link to "Fanfics" and you can go from there. DO NOT READ THE ARMSTRONG X PINAKO ONES! THEY WILL SCAR YOU! Anyway… fear not, for there is another series of drabbles in the making. n.n YAY for Roy x Ross as a couple and as single people. ;) Favorite male and female characters. Thanks for the review!

**Wing Omega**: Well, it's kinda fair I got kicked off. Speaking from hindsight, it's a good thing FFN has a few rules (although most of 'em are dumb… grr…). My other site, AnimeSpiral, has no rules, and now it's gone to the dogs. But sure thing, I'll add Ed x Scieszka and Roy x Scieszka to my to-do list! Thanks for the review!

**Sika Kuriyama**: Lmao, yes Ed and Havoc… the sexie anime blondes… YUMMY! XD Thanks for the review! n.n

**writerauthorguy**: Aw, you stay up late reading this? How sweet! The cheesy music just makes this all the more flattering… XP But don't worry, there's another set of drabbles in the making, so the drabble-ness shall not end! Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	44. Envy x Gluttony: Black Hole

A/N: CRACK! HOORAY! Please review! n.n

PS – In case anyone was wondering about the last drabble, my answer is: Roy and Al are sitting around and Roy lights himself on fire and dies. Lovely, huh? Don't ask…

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**44. Envy x Gluttony – Black Hole

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**

The big lug didn't say much. Not that it would matter if he did; all that comes out of his mouth is gibberish crap – the same kind of stuff that makes up his massive belly. And face. And arms.

I don't know why I'm attracted to him. Not a freakin' clue in the world. I know I can do better. I want better. I am Envy. I want things. Like my real self, not this monstrosity that I've become. And strangely… I guess… I want him, no matter what I think. I want Gluttony.

I've already said I don't know why I want him. It can't be his looks. Che. Looks? What looks? He's a jelly roll with legs. And I certainly can't be wanting him for his brains. Again, the question must be asked - _what_ brains? I haven't seen the guy do much else than suck his finger, drool, and shit. Not pretty, not pleasant, and certainly not intelligent. So why in the hell would I, Envy, want Gluttony?

I guess part of me doesn't care. All I know is that I want him. I want more than just him, yes, but he'll do for now. Though I'm sure I'll never get him. Gluttony, interested in a silly thing called love? Now that's an absurd thought to last a lifetime. I guess it's all just part of my namesake. Envy – wanting what you can't have.

I can't have Gluttony because he's too dumb to understand. I can't be human because our little alchemist hasn't come through with his red stone tricks. I can't be happy. Ever.

I suppose I should learn to accept it. Accept being filled with nothing but a longing – an empty feeling that destroys and rips from the inside out like a black hole in the middle of my chest.

I should accept the goddamn irony that Envy, a man who wants everything and gets nothing, is in love with Gluttony, a man who stuffs his face with everything and anything he fuckin' desires.

The black hole grows bigger. Goddamn.

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**Schimmy**: Yeah, sorry about that… :sweatdrop: I have no idea what made me do that last drabble… but thanks for the review!

**2Twins4Ever**: Yep, you pinned my interpretation of the drabble. It was Roy-chan who killed himself. Gah, I depress myself by writing about depressed people! T.T Meh, thanks for the review!

**Fading wind**: You love Harukami too? omfg, yay! I haven't read all of her fics, but I've read a lot, and I love them. n.n And also, from Chapter 42's review – that's cool, Roy x Ross is popular with the Chinese fandom. I've never read any other Roy x Ross fics (and sadly, I can't read Chinese T.T)… Anyway, thanks for the review!

**writerauthorguy**: Yeah. Roy suicide. Lovely, huh:sweatdrop: No spoliers please! Thanks for the review!

**Sika-Kuriyama**: Close, but it was Roy who killed himself. He lit himself on fire. :sweatdrop: Sorry:hands you tissue: Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	45. Roy x Ed: GERM

A/N: I love this one. Maybe it's just because I'm an English dork and enjoy word games WAY too much… :sweatdrop: Enjoy! Read and review!

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**45. Roy x Ed – GERM

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**

Roy was a GERM, that was for sure. A GERM Ed just couldn't seem to get rid of. A parasite, a GERMy parasite, filled with GERMs, sucking the life and the blood and whatever else it desired out of Ed's small body.

Ed would smack the GERM, yell at the GERM, threaten it with alchemy only to be threatened back with what the GERM called a "bean barbecue".

Roy was a nasty GERM all right. Infectious and sometimes nauseating to a point where Ed needed to scream for a break with his head between his knees.

And other times, Roy was a perfectly nice and mild GERM. In the office, he was fine and dandy, smirking his GERMy smirk and drumming his GERMy fingers on his desk, thoroughly harmless. But when it came quitting time, Roy's GERMy disease would ravage poor Ed like a pack of rabid hound dogs.

Ed knew he had chosen to live with a GERM. The same way he had chosen to join the military, burn his house, and attempt to resurrect his mother. This idea to live with such a GERM was about as bad as all of his other ideas, but, like all parts of life, it was a learning experience. Just one that wouldn't end… for a very long time. Ed would be infected with the GERM until the day he died.

Yet, deep in his heart, Ed loved the GERM.

Ed loved the Great Egotistical Roy Mustang.

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**Sika Kuriyama**: Yeah, I know. If Roy's gonna kill himself, lighting himself on fire is a stupid way to do it. Because spontaneous (or not so spontaneous, in this case) combustion is usually funny, and why make people laugh when you die? I don't know… lol By all means, go ahead and borrow whatever pairings you like. Not like I "invented" them… :sweatdrop: Thanks for the review!

**Blackrose Kitsune**: What can I say? I love "several different obscure pairings". How else could I have written… most of the stuff I've written in here? And I've written worse. I've written one where Roy fucked an electrical socket (I am not kidding)… :-P But shh, we'll just keep that one secret, 'kay? n.n; Anyway, thanks for the review!

**BHS**: XP I think Roy lighting himself on fire is funny too. I dunno, the thought of that just makes me wanna laugh uncontrollably… XDXDXD Hey now, Gluttony's not a bad guy to fall in love with! Well… okay, yeah, maybe he is… He doesn't really do anything… AWESOME! "Totally WTF-crack pairings!" That is like, my life's dream, to get on so nifty a list. ;) No, really, that's cool. I love WTF-crack pairings. :-P Thank you very much for the review!

**MetalWing Alchemist**: Yes, Roy lighting himself on fire was very good… :starts laughing: I'm sorry, Roy, I shouldn't disrespect the flames… :snorts: Now I can't stop… Anyway, you are welcome for the sites! I hope you liked this one. ;) Thanks for the review!

**writerauthorguy**: You know what? I've actually written a Lust x Winry pairing (that one pops up in "FMA Drabbles II", coming soon). I've read Armstrong x Pinako, and it scares the living hell out of me (though someday I'll probably write it just to prove I can), and… wow. I have never heard of Breda x Black Hayate, and that one frightens me too… And yet… it's hilariously funny… XP Don't go giving me any ideas now! Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	46. Years

A/N: My life would not be complete if I did not do an Elysia & Hughes drabble thing. Read and review!

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**46. Years

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**

Four, five, six.

Elysia Hughes is learning how to ride a bike. How cute she looks, thinks Maes, as she giggles and is pushed by her mother down the street. He notices how careful Gracia is, watching her. He can see in her eyes that she doesn't want to lose her. She doesn't want to lose her like she had lost him.

Seven, eight, nine.

Elysia Hughes has cut her hair. Maes finds himself frowning, missing those long, light tresses exactly like her mother's. But hair is such a trivial, fleeting thing. It'll grow back, Maes knows. It'll come back, just like everything else does.

But not everything comes back. He didn't, after all. Maybe it's best to just let what's lost stay lost and give up trying to restore it…

Ten, eleven, twelve.

Elysia Hughes likes a boy. His name is Matthew. Maes inspects Matthew; is he suitable material for his baby girl? It's hard to tell. Matthew is shy and quiet. Matthew is a very cute young boy, soft face, blonde hair, green eyes, thin, tall. Not smart nor stupid. Not ugly, not exceedingly handsome. He plays soccer.

Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen.

Elysia Hughes has run away from home. It's raining. Maes knows why it's raining. It's because he's sad. It always rains when he's sad. _Elysia, go back home, sweetheart… Mommy doesn't hate you, you're not in trouble, she loves you. Go back, and it'll all be okay… _He couldn't help adding, _Don't do this to my Gracia… She's already lost me. Don't make her lose you…_

Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen.

Elysia Hughes has lost her virginity. His name was Donovan. Maes wasn't sure if he is happy or not. He hadn't aged a bit, and yet here was his little baby girl, Elysia, an adult, maturing. Where had the years gone? Elysia kisses Donovan after their deed is done and he falls asleep on top of her. Maes looks away; it isn't right for him to intrude on such personal matters.

Nineteen, twenty, twenty-one.

Elysia's first child is born. She has named him Maes. Maes smiles. So his little girl hasn't forgotten him after all, even through all the years. _That's good. Because I've never forgotten you, sweetheart…

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**Blackrose Kitsune**: Lol, thanks. I thought "GERM" was kinda creative too… I can't remember how exactly I thought of it though… Oh well. Thanks for the review!

**writerauthorguy**:smacks forehead: You know, if you read the entire drabble again and substituted the letters for actual words, the drabble wouldn't make a whole lot of sense anyway. But to answer your question: Yes. Roy is filled with Roys. Damn straight. You knew what I meant:gets flustered because she realizes she's not as smart as she thinks she is: Thanks for the review!

**K. A. Maples**: GERMy Roy. Makes you never wanna wash your hands again, doesn't it? Thanks for the review!

**MetalWing Alchemist**: Zomgz! "L"s! L, I remember that! XD Wow, that just totally brightened my day… l l l w00t. n.n Ha ha, well, toward the beginning, I had a lot of Roy x Ed's… so a common pairing isn't that uncommon in here… But yeah, I've been doing a lot more "wtf"-pairings as of recently… Ah well. Thanks for the review!

**inu's gothic ravyn**: Hey I remember you! n.n Nice seein' you review again! Thank you very muchlies! And hey now, don't go stealin' my Roy-chan! He's MINE! MINE, I TELL YOU! WE'RE GETTING MARRIED DECEMBER 31ST! … :blinks: Thank you for your review. :D

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	47. Havoc x Fuery: 1969

A/N: This has to be one of my most retarded drabbles ever. I don't even WANT to know where I got the idea for this one… :twitch: AU, DUH! Please review!

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**47. Havoc x Fuery - 1969

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**

"Jean? Get up off the ground," said Kain Fuery as he walked past his old childhood buddy, Jean Havoc on a sunny afternoon in late August of 1969. "You're in the middle of road; you're going to get run over."

"Can't a guy just sit around and have a smoke?" grunted Havoc in reply, tossing his burned-out cigarette off the curb and lighting a new one. "Maybe I like it here in the middle of the road. And unless some drunk old idiot is cruising around today, I'm not going to get run over. I'm perfectly safe on the median."

Fuery sighed. For the past… decade, it seemed, Jean Havoc was sitting in the middle of the road, wearing his life away by growing out his choppy blonde hair and smoking cigarette after cigarette. He had a guitar at his side, but he didn't know how to play it. Every now and then he would pick it up and pluck a few strings, earning himself some rude comments from passers-by. But he did have one fan – Kain.

Regardless of how awful a musician Jean Havoc was, Kain loved the blonde's songs. Or, to be more specific, he loved the blonde. Sure, he smoked a lot and wore bell bottom jeans and was considered a hobo hippie (which he was), but Fuery loved him just the same, despite how strikingly different they were.

Fuery was an upstanding citizen with a job and a nice haircut. He wore glasses and usually had money in his pocket. Flies did not buzz around his pristine, perfect skin. He didn't listen to rock music or play the guitar poorly. He was, in short, the least likely person to ever fall in love with a hippie.

Kain sat down next to his friend. Jean offered him a cigarette which he refused.

Taking a drag on his own roll of nicotine, Havoc looked up at the sky and sighed, "Ya know, man, since society is totally fubar and doesn't seem to accept unorthodox relationships, I wouldn't love you. But… ya know, Kain… you're a cool guy. And I do love you. Because I don't give a damn what society thinks."

Kain smiled brightly, his bright, un-yellowed-from-nicotine teeth sparkling in the summer sunlight. In the back of his mind, he thought that maybe having a friend who was a hippie wasn't so bad after all… But the front of his mind was occupied with the fiery kiss that Jean Havoc was planting sloppily on Fuery's lips right in the middle of the road. A few cars honked, but both Havoc and Fuery were thinking the same thing:

"We don't care what society thinks, man."

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A/N: HA HA HA… no, wait. Here's the right word: WTF? Please review!

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**Lurkinshdws**: Thanks for the review!

**Blackrose Kitsune**: n.n Thanks. I love stuff about Hughes. I like that even though Elysia goes through some rough times, she still remembers Maes and loves him and misses him. Now I'm gonna make myself sad… T.T :sniff: Th-thanks f-for the r-review:bursts into tears:

**K. A. Maples**:grabs an ice cream bucket and sits down with you, grabbing a tissue: Thanks for the review!

**MetalWing Alchemist**: I've read a couple Hughes and Elysia things (not here) before, and they inspired me. People who can write well are capable of making really nice Hughes and Elysia ones. L, yes, "Trix" was good. "Trix" was fun. n.n Thanks for the review!

**inu's gothic ravyn**: Actually, I'm glad I could make you cry. The point was to induce some kind of a sympathetic emotion, and I succeeded. n.n Huzzah! XD I luff Maes too! He's so great… I just wanna… go up to my TV and pull him outta there so he can be my besterest friend foreva! Thanks for the review!

**writerauthorguy**: I like angst… :sweatdrop: Thankies for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	48. Brosh x Ross: Hot Chocolate

A/N: I know some of you have been wanting a BroshxRoss drabble, so here it is! Enjoy! n.n Fluff!

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**48. Brosh x Ross – Hot Chocolate and Marshmallows

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**

The snow was falling thickly; Sergeant Brosh couldn't see a thing. Neither could Maria Ross, sitting alone inside her house, watching the blizzard whirl by. Due to the heavy swirls of snow, she didn't see the tall, black, blurry figure approach her front doorstep.

The howling wind almost drowned out the doorbell, but luckily, Maria heard it and opened the door a crack, careful not to let a massive deluge of snowflakes into her living room.

Denny Brosh was standing outside shivering, two inches of snow perched in every fold of his blue knit hat. Yelping in surprise, Maria threw open the door and pulled him inside, removing his drenched overcoat and shaking out his hat. "What on earth are you doing out in a blizzard like this?" she asked him.

Once his teeth stopped chattering, Denny replied, "Um… my car broke down… and I… need a place to stay for awhile."

Maria frowned. "You don't have a car."

Denny scratched at the back of his neck and grinned. "Well then, my _shoes_ broke down." He shook his right leg out and showed Maria his deteriorating military boot. "Look, Maria, come on, it's freezing out there, and you're the only one I know who lives out around here."

Maria laughed. "I guess it is kind of in the middle of nowhere," she said. She grabbed Denny's frigid hand and tugged him over to the fireplace. "Come sit down and warm up. I'll make hot chocolate."

"Oh, that's great!" cried Denny, bringing a bag out of his jacket pocket. "Because I brought marshmallows!"

Maria raised an eyebrow. "I'm starting to think that this wasn't just a random 'getting caught in a blizzard' circumstance, Denny."

The blonde sweatdropped. She had him this time. _Too bad she's so smart!_ Denny inwardly cursed with a broad smile. "Okay, fine, you got me," he said. "This wasn't random at all. I just needed an excuse to come and see you and drink your hot chocolate."

Kneeling next to her friend and partner-in-justice, Maria placed her arms around Denny's shoulders and whispered, "You don't need excuses, Denny. Next time you want to come and eat my food, just ask."

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**Miss DarkRose**: Thanks for the review! I know the last one was kinda odd, so not much could be said about it. :sweatdrop: Thanks again!

**MetalWing Alchemist**: Yeah, I don't even remember how the idea for that one came up. I was probably eating a sandwich and I thought of it… Most of my ideas either come from sandwiches, shampoo, or… various other things. Mostly shampoo. L. But I'm glad you were able to picture Havoc and Fuery like that! I know I can totally see Havoc as a hippie… it makes me laugh. L:D Thanks for the review!

**Wing Omega**: To answer your question, Elysia was being all "angsty/angry teenage girl" and ran away because her mom made her mad… for some unknown reason. Yeah. I don't know. Make it up yourself. :-P Thanks for the review!

**Chris 'n' Blonde**: w00t for hippies! Peace totally. 8) I would kill to see hippie!Havoc and Fuery kissing out in the middle of the road on my way to school… Wow. That would just totally make my day. ;) Thanks for the review!

**Fading wind**: Glad your school's fun! I like my new high school too. Boarding schools would be okay, but… meh, not my thing. ;) I kinda like my house… lol Really? You liked that last one bets out of the Havoc x Fuery ones? Hmm… That's interesting! My favorite HF one is one I haven't posted yet, but it's one of the first ones in my new series after this. I think you'll like that one. Have fun in your school! Thanks for the review!

**Blackrose Kitsune**: Yeah, I have no idea what made me do a hippie!Havoc drabble… Seriously, I have no idea. O.o; But "WTF"-drabbles are FUN! XD Whee! Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	49. Scar x Roy: Let You Go

A/N: Second to last one! Ha ha… wow. This pairing scares me. Thing is, I picked the pairing myself, instead of getting a request… lol. Anyway, yeah, I picked it because I've read Scar x Ed and Scar x Al, but no Scar x Roy! So… here it is. Scar x Roy plus some Roy x Riza thrown in too. Please review!

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**49. Scar x Roy – Let You Go

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**

"Sir? You're going home?"

Roy nodded to Riza Hawkeye in reply, pulling his sleeves through his black overcoat. It was Monday, not a terribly busy day at the office. Nobody had tried to attack anybody, and nobody had died, so the day was calm by military standards.

Riza's fingers fidgeted, and she whispered, "Would you like me to escort you, sir? It's dangerous outside with the Alchemist Killer on the loose, and I'd feel better if someone… like me… went with you."

Roy smiled. "No, it's okay. I'll be fine. No one messes with the Flame Alchemist," he added boastfully, giving Riza a squeeze on the shoulder. "Good night, Lieutenant."

"Good night, sir."

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Roy was smiling the entire way home. Even during the dark days of serial murder, the colonel found it in himself to grin happily at his lieutenant's obvious care for him. _Hawkeye… you're truly a wonderful woman…_

But his thoughts were interrupted as a dark hand shot out of nowhere and clamped itself over Roy's face. The colonel was then forced into an alleyway, his body shoved up against cold concrete. He grimaced and growled, trying to pry off the thick, muscular arm holding his head in place.

The hand lowered down around his throat, and Roy's eyes could see the tanned, Ishbalan skin of the alchemist killer, the one known as Scar. A sinking feeling like a rock dropped into an ocean distorted his stomach. "The Alchemist Killer," Roy spat, sparing Scar from an introduction.

Scar lifted his powerful, judging hand from Roy's neck and forcefully pressed his lips against the colonel. Speaking gutturally, the Ishbalan whispered, "I'm sparing you, Roy, because you're beautiful, and I can't bring myself to kill a person I love." He kissed Roy again, harder and biting on the colonel's lower lip this time. "But this doesn't mean that my alchemist killing days are over. You people are a sin in God's good world, and in His name, I must eradicate the alchemists. Except for you, Roy…" Roy's ebony hair was tousled, and his cheeks flushed. "I'm letting you go now. And I trust you to do the same for me."

Scar disappeared, and Roy blinked. His lip was still bleeding. He touched it, dazed, and walked home in silence.

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**Blackrose Kitsune**: Yes, silly Brosh, trying too hard… And definitely good for Ross that she's intelligent! She's my favorite female character. :-P Thanks for the review!

**Sika Kuriyama**: No problem for reviewing late. I don't mind. Hippie!Havoc just makes me smile… Glad you liked the drabbles! Thanks for the review!

**Kiyuu-chan**: Sorry for the wait! But yep, I said I'd do one, and I did. n.n Glad you liked it! Yeah, I really haven't seen too many fireplace romance scenes… Usually all that's out there is sex on desks, in offices, and in trash bins. Okay, well, the one about the trash bin was one I wrote (but never posted thank God)… but you get my point. ;) Thanks for the review!

**K. A. Maples**: Me too, I like Brosh x Ross… but I like Ross x Ed more… :giggles: Guilty passion #1946532094639467985! n.n' Thanks for the review!

**inu's gothic ravyn**: The hippie drabble was an AU, so Havoc and Fuery aren't old. n.n; But that's cool, a hippie town… You'll have to tell me what that's like. Thanks for the review!

**MetalWing Alchemist**: I haven't read A LOT of obscure pairings (usually I'm the one writing them), but every now and then I stumble across some really intereting ones! And then there's the really scarring ones like Armstrong x Pinako… :twitch: Scar x Ed I can handle even though it's spooky, but… Armstrong x Pinako is just wrong. SICK AND WRONG! L, anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (must resist urge to tell you "congratulations" three times…) w00t, I am honored to be the first FF author to be read on your new computer. :gloats: Yay! Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	50. Tales From a Desk Phone VI

A/N: AHH OMFG THE END OF THE DRABBLES! Okay, no, of course not! There's another series in the works, appropriately titled "FMA Drabbles II" And then there's some more to the title, but I forgot it. Sorry! Anyway, this is supposed to be the end of the Tales From a Desk Phone drabbles, but there's one more in the next series… because another friend requested it. :-P Anyway, enjoy this one! And please review! And review my other drabbles that will show up later this week!

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**50. Tales From a Desk Phone VI: Injustice's End

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**

Lust faces me now, but she has a strange look in her eyes. She had just finished telling me of Mustang's death, shouldn't she be happy? After all, she was the one who killed him. I glare at her. "What's that look for?" I ask.

And to my surprise, tears fill the homuculus's eyes. Her hands clench into fists, and she hisses at me, "I did what you asked of me, but I… I regret it."

You regret it, woman? You _regret_ killing the man who has caused me – and my former love, Penelope – so much pain and turmoil? You _regret_ bringing justice to a man who has done wrong? How in the world can you _regret_ this—?

"I loved him, Peter," she whispers back to me, using my real name for the first time. "I don't care what you think, but I really did. I loved Colonel Mustang, and I can't believe that you would be so heartless as to make me kill the one I love. I'm sorry, Peter, but I must correct you. It is not Mustang who is unjust; it's you."

Me? Me, unjust? Mustang deserved his death, he rightfully deserved it! After what he did to me and Penelope, he deserved much _more_ than that! And you're calling _me_ unjust because I ordered the death of a man who deserved it?

"Us homunculi learned a little something from the state alchemists," Lust continues. "It's a little theory called 'equivalent exchange'. 'One cannot gain anything without first giving something in return', or something like that… Roy's death was the give, but what have we gained? _Nothing_!" Lust spits in my face. "You're as bad as the colonel you unfairly vilify so obstinately, all but forcing me to kill my love… So now… the equivalent exchange is complete. A life for a life. You may eat him now, Gluttony."

I hear a voice, heavy breathing down my back… A touch of… what is that? _Saliva?_Ugh… oh… oh God! OUCH, IT BURNS! WHAT THE HELL? WHAT IS THIS? CONSPIRACY! HOW DARE YOU, LUST! HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME!

Awwww, crap. I'm dead.

Wait… what is this place? Fire… burning… smoke, flames… Is this…? It can't be! I'm in HELL! But where is the colonel? I don't see that bastard anywhere—OH GOD IT BURNS! I'M BURNING! I AM IN SEVERE PAIN! THIS IS WORSE THAN MUSTANG'S TORTURE! AAAAAAHHHHHH! OHHH, THE PAIN! THE PAAAAIIIIINNN! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

And thus ends… the Tales From a Desk Phone.

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A/N: And we revert back to screaming!Desk Phone. XD I love that. Please review!

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**Reviewer Responses!

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**MetalWingAlchemist**: The "congratulations" thing just spontaneously came to me… But then I couldn't get the image of Winry out of my head for the rest of the night… :sigh: Yeah, Scar x Ed really creeps me out… Scar x ANYONE is scary! T.T Yay, FMA starts up again! But it's my homecoming that night… oh well. I'll just catch the later encore airing. ;) I'm so excited! Fun dance AND a new TV premiere. What a great week this is. Thanks for the review!

**Wing Omega**: Actually, it was for a contest. An acquaintance of mine and I used to have lemon contests (please don't comment… okay comment, but… yeah. Spare me the shame…), and the last contest we did before we stopped being friends was "CK x Kurama lemon in a dumpster". I won the last of our lemon contests - "My friend x Calvin Goldspink from S Club 8" – and I probably woulda won the dumpster sex one too… But I never finished it… It's nasty though. But I'm usually on some kind of high on life. :-P So I suppose I could answer yes to that question. Thanks for the review!

**Sika Kuriyama**: Lol, my last coupling just disturbs even me… hee he. Maybe because I love Roy too much and don't want to share him with Scar… o.o But hey now, don't worry, there's a second series coming soon! Thanks for the review!

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--crazykitsune17-- 


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